Oceans Apart
by NightOwlHoot
Summary: Another post S5 Ryan/Annie story. . . with Ben Mercer coming into the picture and playing a main role. Thanks for faithful and patient readers. This one is taking a different turn . . . hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Note: Sometimes one line in one episode sticks with me and sparks a fanfic. . . that and an Adele song gave me inspiration for this . . .not sure if this one will be long or where it will lead, but it has been in the works and then left for a long time. I worked on it a bit today. Hope you enjoy!

Based off some events in Season 5 Episode 3

After tying up loose ends in Argentina Annie and Ryan fly out of Buenos Aires, Argentina in Ryan's private jet. It's a long journey home and the couple decided to have a layover in Caracas, Venezuela to refuel. It happens to be where Ryan took out a six month lease on a fancy vacation villa while he and Annie were on the run from the Venezuelan police. Ryan remembered Annie said in another lifetime she'd take the over the lease. He paid in full, plus a deposit and had more than three months left on the lease. Why not use it for a day or two? So he landed in Caracas and they took a cab to the villa.

/

Annie walked over to the spot where Borz Altan died remembering how defeated she felt when he took his last breath. The only thing she got out of him was that he met a contact in D.C. named "The Postman". At the time, her first thought wasn't that a man was dead at her hands, the only remorse she felt was that she hadn't extracted enough information from him before he died. She remembered sitting on the cold floor by his still warm body and feeling nothing for Borz Altan at all. The tears that began to fill her eyes weren't for him. She let out a long exhale and took another deep breath before phoning Auggie. She gave him the info. Auggie heard something in her voice, she was back, but she wasn't the same.

Ryan went through the house opening windows and taking stock of the place. He brought their luggage in from the entrance. He saw her starring off and looking at the spot where Borz died as he placed the two bags down on the terracotta tiles.

Ryan walked over to Annie bringing her back to the present. "There are plenty of rooms, we can keep this one shut," said Ryan as he put his hand on the small of her back and led her out into the courtyard. He turned back and shut the door on the past. He wanted to put Borz Altan behind him too.

"I spoke to the property manager, he said the maintenance guy would come over to clean the pool and hot tub within the hour."

"Aren't you tired after flying for nearly eight hours?"

"A little stiff, but this layover with you in this lovely villa is just what I need," said Ryan plopping himself down on the lounge chair beside the pool. He wore his bright and cheeky smile on his face.

"What?" ask Annie shaking her head. She sat down on the lounger across from him.

"Just thinking about that shower upstairs and how impressed I was by you when we were last here."

"I wasn't trying to impress you," said Annie with a crooked smile. "Not getting blown and getting Borz to talk was my chief objective that day," said Annie.

"I know, you just expertly and effortlessly did your job and I fell in love with you."

"You fell for a cold hearted killer who lied to a dying man and then deceived two police officers by pretending to be a drug addict?" laughed Annie shaking her head while trying to blink away the tears.

Ryan sensed that she wasn't joking around anymore. He had seen her that way before. Defeated and down on herself. He stood up and walked over to her lounger where she sat and kneeled down by her. He took her hand into his, "Hey, hey, you were doing your job and you are _damn good_ at it. Look at what you stopped Belenko and Caitlyn from doing. The world may never know it, but you saved countless lives."

Annie nodded her head closing her eyes. He watched a tear roll down her cheeks creating a wet spot on her pants.

"Now that everything's over, I have time and space to evaluate what's happened and myself and. . .I don't know. I'm not sure I can keep making compromises. Sometimes I don't like what I've become. Do you ever feel that way?"

Ryan looked at her. He never felt any remorse or regret over his kills. His role and orders had always been more black and white than Annie's job as an operative.

"Honestly? No."

"How do you do it? How do you not let it consume you?"

"I'm a soldier, not a spy. There are different expectations of us. I know what side I'm on and I've always had a clear picture of the enemy. Things aren't always so cut and dry for operatives like you. That's why the CIA frustrates me," winked Ryan.

"I love my job, but the last year has been challenging. I took a break and I was ready to return, it's all I wanted. Now, I don't know what's next for me, I have no job left at the CIA, I quit."

"I know you've faced insurmountable odds and challenges, but you're here! After gunshot wounds, heart conditions, explosions, prison breaks, and having the Vega force after us, I'd say we deserve a little vacation before going back to work."

Annie looked at Ryan while wiping away another tear.

"What if I don't want to go back?" That wasn't a question that occurred to Ryan. He took it for granted that she would return with him. He proposed. He envisioned them getting married. She was baring her innermost insecurities to him. From the moment he met her he knew she had been through hardships and made tough choices and he admired her strength and courage. No matter what, Annie Walker get back up and kept fighting, but at the moment he just saw a tired woman who had doubts about her future.

"What are you saying?"

"Nevermind. I'm starving. Let's see what we can find to eat nearby."

"You're changing the subject Annie, tell me what you were thinking."

"I'm just tired, I don't know what's left for me at the CIA, they won't let me in the field again, but I know I won't be happy as an analyst."

"I would trust you in the field. Work with me, you're technically still an employee at McQuaid Securities. You can work whatever missions you want."

"Wow a marriage proposal and a job offer."

Ryan smiled. "I don't need an answer now, think on it."

He leaned in and kissed her.

Annie looked at him and smiled. It felt right with him, he lit up her life, but she was sick and perhaps getting worse. Her most recent episode while chasing Belenko weighed heavily on her mind as well as a jumble of other questions and worries. She couldn't marry him if she wasn't getting better.

"Let's get into something more appropriate for the weather and we'll go out and find a place to eat, how's that Walker?"

Annie put on a smile and walked to her bag. "I don't have anything but black jeans and tee-shirts."

"How about you take a shower and I run out and see what I can buy," said Annie.

"We'll go out together, it's not a safe country you know," said Ryan.

"Do you know who you're talking to? I did just fine when I was last here," said Annie.

Ryan didn't think anything of it, he shrugged, she was right, she could very well handle herself and she spoke the language. It was Annie, she needed her alone time and he wasn't the type to smother a woman. "You're right, you can take care of yourself. Have fun shopping," said Ryan.

/

Annie walked out of the villa. She had planted the idea of stopping in Caracas in Ryan's head and it worked. Her deception and diversion skills were excellent as always. Annie read people and she knew how to manipulate them, it wasn't something she meant to do to Ryan, she loved him, but she didn't want to hurt him or cause him to worry over her health. She did what she set out to do, Auggie was safe now, Belenko had been neutralized. It was time to focus on herself and her health. It wasn't Ryan's fight.

/

Ryan dozed off after his shower, he was tired from the long flight from Buenos Aires to Caracas. When he woke up to a growling stomach, the sun was setting. He called out Annie's name and there wasn't a peep in the house, it was eerily quiet. He saw that the pool had been cleaned as he walked around the house, but there was no Annie. She had been gone for at least two hours. He looked through her bag, her wallet, passport, nitrate injectors and gun were gone. Where could she be? He took out his phone and called her cell. To his surprise, she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Annie! Where are you? I'm starting to get worried."

"I'm sorry Ryan, I didn't mean to hurt you, but I can't go back with you."

God, he should have known something was going on in her pretty little head earlier. "Is this about our conversation earlier?"

"It's not just earlier, I've been thinking about this a long time."

"There's more to it than that, what is it Annie?"

"I have to go, thank you for believing in me and trusting me in the field with you. It meant a lot to me, more than you'll ever know. I'll always love you Ryan."

"Then don't do this, where are you, I'll come and we'll talk this through together. We can spend a couple of days relaxing, things will be clearer after we decompress."

Ryan could hear a lot of background noise in Spanish. She was somewhere crowded. He could hear her breathing.

"You don't have to feel any pressure to marry me and you don't have to worry about losing me, I'm right here so don't let me go," pleaded Ryan.

She wasn't worried about losing him, she was worried about him losing her. She knew it nearly killed him to watch his wife die and it took him years to get over it. She loved him too much to do that to him. She wanted him to have more than she could give him. He'd want to save her and she couldn't let him go through that again.

"Thank you for everything Ryan, you mean more to me than you'll ever know. I hope you can forgive me one day."

The phone went dead and Ryan was left alone in the silence of his expansive villa. Annie tossed her phone in the trash before she crossed the border into Columbia.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Note: I do not own these characters. They belong to CA Writers/USA.

Shifting back in time as I like to do in my writing. . .

Upon landing in Venezuela after being in the air for nearly eight hours, Ryan needed to see about refueling and pay fees for storing his plane a couple of nights. While Ryan took care of paper work and a requisite maintenance check at the small airport, Annie snooped around and found regular flights to Maracaibo. The security checks weren't stellar as it was an in country flight, it would be the perfect place to leave undetected. With Ryan on the tarmac going over paper work, she had purchased a ticket to leave later that day. He suspected nothing.

It wouldn't be difficult for her to think of a reason to leave the villa. She had to make a brief stop in Marcaibo before another stop in Columbia to take care of some business. And then she wasn't exactly sure what next. She painted a number of possible scenarios in her head, but nothing was clear just yet other than parting from Ryan later in the day. One step at a time she told herself.

When her myocarditis came to light, Calder and Joan benched her, anger fueled desire to fight and continue. She wanted to prove to Joan and Langley that she was still in the game. Then something Roger Bennett said about spy craft watered a seed that had been planted long ago. Roger's words though stayed with her. He said, the very thing he was good at was _killing him_. She could relate to him even though he didn't know it and his death impacted her in a way she didn't expect. She felt horrible that he became collateral damage in the investigation into the Chicago bombing. It was a stark contrast to what she felt when Borz Altan and Harris Wilson died while in her company.

In the elusive moments of solitude and calm over the last couple of weeks, she began to think about her future after all was said and done. It felt like the universe was telling her to stop living this life. It was slowly going to kill her. Look at what it had done to her already. Images of people who had tried to send her that same warning flooded back. She had known all along where she was headed if she continued living the way she lived, but heeded no one. Not Ray Gaskin, not Christopher Macauley, not Simon Fischer, not even Eyal Lavin. It was an unlikely person, Roger, who made her question everything. Now was time to deal with herself while she was still able to. Any more living on a few hour's sleep and adrenalin as her fuel instead of good healthy food and a solid night's sleep she would be dead in a matter of months. She could see it.

After her donut and coffee with Roger the drama only accelerated and the scrapes she and those around her narrowly escaped were television worthy. She vowed that when she got to the bottom of the current case, she would focus on her health, she wanted to live a long life and her current lifestyle wasn't going to cut it. All those thoughts were pushed down as more and more was revealed and it all connected to Belenko and Auggie's time in Chechnya, there was always something else that was more important. But she had to see it all through first. That was Annie Walker.

Annie's heart condition reared its head more often than she anticipated since returning and while she hated to admit it, at times it did get in the way of her missions. She couldn't continue following Borz, she wouldn't have made it without Ryan's help in Azerbaijan, and just a day ago, if the man she viewed as an enemy didn't help her, she could be in God knows what condition. That last episode was the straw that broke the camel's back.

During the course of her hunt for Belenko, she was scared of an episode coming on. She was scared it may be her last and her eyes would never open again. Ryan's proposal took her by surprise and it _almost_ made her want to stay and keep living her life, then she blacked out and woke up feeling unsteady and completely vulnerable. Imagining her life was in the hands of a heartless criminal, scared the shit out of her. She felt something coming on even before she and Ryan split up but she pushed herself. What she did put Ryan in danger, what if he needed her help and she couldn't provide it because she collapsed. She would never forgive herself. And suddenly she had some clarity. This job like Eyal said, was just a job, she knew it was time to quit as much as that hurt her pride to admit. And it was also time to stop before her relationship with Ryan went any further.

Annie's plans to skip going back to D.C. with Ryan came together in Buenos Aires. She and Ryan spent a night there making sure everything was in order for Belenko's transport back to the States. He was talking as if they would have a wonderful carefree life in D.C. Making plans that would never come to fruition because she was sick and getting sicker. When she spoke with Auggie and Joan regarding the next steps, Joan spoke as if Annie was still working for her, but her heart wasn't in it anymore. For the first time she didn't want to continue. She was done chasing Belenko and she was ready to hand him off to the CIA now that Auggie was no longer in danger. Joan sensed the hesitation in her voice.

"We can talk more later, but Annie, know this, I will go to bat for you. I want us to move forward and past what happened. I am sorry for not trusting that you always put this agency and this country first."

"Thanks Joan. I will ask for your help. I need a little time to think about next steps."

Annie left the door open with Joan. She needed allies and help to start over and wasn't about to burn the bridge Joan was building between them.

"Enjoy your time with Ryan."

"Bye Joan."

/

Before leaving Buenos Aires with Ryan, Annie made a call.

"Hello?" answered the man on the other end.

"It's Annie."

"I didn't expect to hear from you so soon."

"I need a favor."

"What is it?"

"Can you meet me in Maracaibo tomorrow?"

"Maracaibo?" There was surprise in his voice.

"I think I can swing that," he responded.

"You think or you can?" She didn't have much more time.

"What's wrong Annie?"

"Bring credentials and an I.D. under the name Jorge Garcia."

"You got it."

"I'll call you from another phone tomorrow with specifics."

"At least tell me what's going on." There was concern in his voice.

"Not now. And thank you."

"I owe you, see you tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Note: I don't own these characters, they belong to CA writers/USA. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

/

The man walking alongside Annie wore a white linen shirt and a pair of lightweight hiking pants. He had a rather bulky backpack strapped to him and carried a duffel bag. As soon as Annie picked up her phone she motioned him to wait, so he paused and scanned the area. She turned and walked away from him. He studied her body language. The woman he once knew to be carefree and optimistic was gone, probably long gone. When he last saw her he recognized the change immediately, but he needed her help and she provided it. They were in each other's company for less than 24 hours. Now it was his turn to return the favor, he owed her after everything he put her through.

Ben watched Annie speaking on the phone as she tucked her blond wisps behind her ear. He could tell from her body language that it was not an easy conversation. She looked the part of a carefree tourist in her long white skirt and red tank top with a navy and white chevron patterned scarf around her shoulders. Red, white and blue. It was so her, but she was far from carefree. She looked to the sky as she spoke. Then she turned around quickly, wiped away a tear and tossed the phone into the trash before she joined him.

"Let's go," she said authoritatively as soon as she reached him. He noticed she was sniffling and he had a window to ask a question, but he didn't.

They proceeded to walk through the border check line where they pretended to be newlyweds off on an adventure when questioned.

Annie was upset, but he didn't mention it, instead he tried to make small talk about their surroundings.

Once their taxi approached the hotel, "How about we get some empanadas and walk around the market?"

Annie shook her head while Ben paid the driver.

"No, we check in and lay low. The bank first thing tomorrow and you can go back to whatever you were doing."

Ben started to walk to the entrance of the hotel.

"Uh, not here, it's two blocks away," said Annie.

"Really?"

"S.O.P Mister, I can't afford to be tracked right now."

It was hot and it showed on both of them. As they walked with their luggage Ben said, "I don't have anything lined up for another couple of days, how about we head to Panama, I know a fantastic spot there, very secluded and romantic, a bit like Sri Lanka."

Annie gave him a "no way" look and a crooked smile while shaking her head. A small laugh came out.

"You're kidding right?"

"I tried once before to take you on a vacation, thought I'd give it another shot," said Ben remembering that moment when he realized she was completely over him.

"Where are you headed?" She wanted to change the subject.

"Mumbai and then Karachi probably or Hyderabad. Depends on some moving parts. I need to check-in at some point."

Annie's eyes narrowed and she stopped walking, "Where were you when I called?"

Ben chose to tell her the truth. They'd gone through a lot and he recognized he had put her through a lot, perhaps the truth would be a good place to begin.

"I was in D.C."

"At Langley?"

Ben shook his head, "No, I don't go to the home office ever. That would blow my cover. If you want to disappear and stay hidden, you stop going to Langley."

Annie took it in, wondering who he was in touch with at Langley, who was running him?

"Why'd you go back anyway?" He saw his opportunity to get in a question as she started walking again.

The only possibility Annie thought of was Joan.

"Are you working for Joan Campbell?"

Ben nodded, "When Arthur quit as DCS the next person in line inherited all his black ops cases. So I do work for Joan now."

"You saw her?"

He nodded. "Relax, I didn't tell her anything about our little arrangement if you're worried."

"Ben, this isn't what I need. She probably knows you're here and you need to check-in?" He could see the desperation in her eyes.

"Joan doesn't micro-manage me Annie. For all she knows I'm still in D.C. Why are you in such a . . ."

Annie's breathing had become labored, the combination of the heat, dragging a heavy suitcase and walking a slight incline caused her heart rate to become erratic. She fumbled through her bag looking for her meds.

"Here, sit. The heat must be catching up to you." He handed her his water bottle.

Annie inhaled and exhaled deeply leaving her hand on the injector inside her bag.

She shook her head. "It's not the heat, normally I love this. . ." and suddenly he saw tears roll down her cheek. She shook her head instantly regretting what she just said.

"I'm better now, it's just up ahead."

He took her suitcase, placing the duffel on top and looping the handles on top.

Ben checked in to the small three star hotel. It was clean and nothing fancy, but that also meant little security cameras and few Americans. Annie waited in the small lobby and took her pulse. Ben turned around and noticed what she was doing.

/

The couple walked up three flights to the Honeymoon Suite. Even though Ben carried all their luggage, Annie struggled on the last flight. She pushed herself and when Ben opened the door to the room, Annie's legs gave out and she barely made it to the bed while clutching her left arm across her chest. Ben appeared paralyzed, unsure of what to do at first, but when he finally snapped out of it and picked up the phone, Annie rolled herself off the bed and shook her head before dropping to her knees.

"My bag, please," she managed weakly.

Ben scrambled to open the flap and unzip her bag. Inside he saw what looked like a half dozen cartridge looking things among her gun and make-up. He took one out and handed it to her. She took it from him and jabbed herself in the thigh before passing out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ryan redialed Annie's cell, there was no answer although he was hopeful, he knew even before he tried that there would be no answer. She had more than a two hour head start by then and that's when it hit him. She knew what she was doing all along. She was the one who planted the idea of returning to Caracas. As for Ryan he had enough of watching his back in dangerous situations, he would have preferred relaxing at an all-inclusive resort, but he loved Annie's sense of adventure so he brought them to Venezuela. He wondered what she was thinking and why she needed to resort to disappearing on him. Why didn't she tell him what was going on and why did she feel a need to keep him in the dark.

Knowing what he knew about her, she had to have a damn good reason, but he kept going back to the question of why she didn't trust him with whatever bind she was in. His mind kicked into gear and he replayed everything that happened. He tried to put himself in Annie's shoes and think like her. Where would she go? How would she do it?

With his eyes closed he replayed the background noise he heard as he spoke to Annie. He had enough high school level Spanish to get by, but the more he thought about it, the more he remembered, it was the sound of hawkers selling bottled water at the border. She was at one of the border crossings. The only way she could make it to a border crossing in such a short amount of time was to fly, but which crossing? He refreshed his memory of the nearest crossings and tried to think like Annie.

/

"You know our friend at the Columbian border?" asked Ryan without any greetings.

"Yeah, he was Caitlyn's asset," replied Costa his assistant.

"Give me his number, he got a huge payout from our last encounter, make sure he knows that he's still onboard now that Caitlyn is gone," ordered Ryan.

"Okay, give me a minute," said Costa.

"Text it to me and would you wire some 10K to the bank closest to my location and let me know when it's there?"

"Yes sir," said Costa.

Ryan hung up.

As he headed out to the airstrip where he remembered seeing Annie wandering around, he tried Annie's cell again. It was hopeless, she ditched it, he was sure of it.

As soon as Costa sent him the border guard's cell, Ryan called. He spent a few minutes on idle chit chat and letting the man know he was still valuable with Caitlyn Cook gone. He offered him use of his villa for the duration of the rental in exchange for information on Annie. Hell he wasn't going to enjoy it, so someone else might as well. The asset checked the databases for Ryan and said an Austrailian woman fitting Annie's description crossed into Maicao from Maracaibo just thirty minutes earlier.

"What name was she using?"

"Penelope Wyatt," said the border guard.

"Gracias."

"Mr. McQuaid, are you looking for a man as well?"

The notion that she wasn't alone hadn't occurred to Ryan at all.

"Excuse me?"

"According to the notes, she entered with her husband and they are traveling on their honeymoon."

"What is the man's name?"

"Jorge Garcia," said the border guard.

"Do me a favor and send me a picture of him," asked Ryan.

"Yes, Mr. McQuaid, but our cameras, they are old so the image will be not so good."

"Thank you and I appreciate your discretion as always," said Ryan.

Ryan clenched his jaw, a dozen questions flew into his head as he finished up his paperwork to fly out of Caracas. When he got to the part about destination, he hesitated. Chase Annie or go home. As he contemplated, his phone rang, it was the doctor on his payroll in Maracaibo. Not someone he expected to hear from. It had to be related to Annie.

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"I thought perhaps you were with the senorita, the same one you asked me to treat a couple of months ago," said the doctor.

"You saw her?"

"Yes, she came to me for her medication, but I was only able to give her six doses, she ask for double."

"You have no way to reach her?"

"No senor, that is why I call you. I located another six injectors and I wanted to offer them to her, but I had no number for her so I try you Mr. McQuaid," said the doctor.

"Thank you doctor. I'm on my way to Maracaibo and I'll pick them up."

"Did she give any indication of where she was going?"

"No sir," said the doctor. "But she was in a hurry."

"Was she with anyone else?"

"No," said the doctor.

/

Annie felt a cool damp cloth on her head as she tried to will her eyes open. For a few moments she had forgotten where she was and whispered, Ryan's name before closing her eyes again.

"Shh, just rest up," said Ben.

Ben had lifted Annie onto the bed and elevated her head after she landed on the floor. He checked her pulse and pupils, unsure of what to do, but she was breathing and her heartbeat, although weak was palpable. He quickly looked up the medication and found it was a vasodilator. Ben concluded it was her heart causing all the trouble. He poured water from his bottle, there was barely a glass left and Annie's water bottle was empty. He didn't want to leave her, yet he needed to get some water and food for them as well as new cell phones.

"Annie, can you sit up?" He asked as he helped her. She was slowly coming around.

"Here, have some of this," he said handing her the glass.

"I need to get you some more and a doctor," said Ben.

Annie shook her head.

"No doctor, I'm okay, the medicine is working," said Annie.

"Annie, I know you don't trust me, but right now I'm all you've got. That's why you resorted to me isn't it?"

"Can I have a moment, you can go get the supplies, I'll be fine."

Ben looked at her for longer than usual. He didn't want to push her. "All right, I'll be back in thirty minutes, I need to phone in too, so I'll take care of that."

"Ben?"

"I know, I know, I won't mention where I am or you," said Ben.

"I was about to say, thank you," said Annie.

They smiled at each other. Ben reached out and touched her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm just glad you weren't alone when that happened."

Annie nodded remembering what Ryan once said to her about not having to be alone.

"We'll talk more when I get back," said Ben.


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Tell me what you think. . . haven't had much time to write recently, but got a bit done today. . .

/

Moving back to when Annie first landed in Maracaibo . . .

Venezuela isn't exactly a safe vacation spot, but it attracted people looking for cheap adventures and very often folks looking for inexpensive medical procedures. There were many doctors to choose from, but Annie knew of one she could trust because Ryan trusted him. As soon as she landed in Maracaibo Annie found the doctor who treated her and Borz. She needed an ample supply of medication so she asked him for a dozen nitrate injectors.

The doctor spent some time looking Annie over and taking her vitals. When he finished he said, "Your heart sounds significantly worse than last time."

Annie looked at him, "I'll be fine if you can get me the medication I need."

"Very well then. I can get you some," said the doctor.

"Can you come back in an hour?"

Annie returned an hour later. The doctor handed her the medications and said, "The pharmacy I normally use only had six on hand, I had them order another six for you, but it won't come until tomorrow."

"I can't wait, but thank you, keep the money for the 12 injectors,"

"Senorita, you need to take care of yourself, eat well and sleep eight hours a day, do not do anything strenuous," said the doctor.

Annie nodded.

"See a cardiologist as soon as possible," were the doctor's parting words.

/

While Annie took the bus to meet Ben, she thought back to the time she spent with Teo Braga a few months back. He told her about all the places he had money and documents stashed and the aliases he used at each location. She had a slip of paper with the account numbers and balances. He had a few sites all over the world, but the two where the most cash was stored were in South America. Annie hated to use Teo's money laundered from the ALC, but it was all she had for a fresh start and Teo was dead. She called Ben because the accounts were in the name of a man and it wasn't entirely safe for a woman to travel alone with large amounts of cash. They would clean out the accounts and safe deposit boxes in Maracaibo before heading to Columbia.

/

Annie continued to lay in bed after Ben left the suite, her whole body felt heavy and although she just wanted to stay put, she forced herself to sit up. She needed to make it through the next day before resting and focusing on her health. The money was for her survival. She needed the money because she knew she was getting sicker and anticipated medical expenses. She took a few deep breaths before her feet hit the floor. She thought about staying in Columbia indefinitely only because she was so tired and the thought of starting over alone while she dealt with her heart overwhelmed her. The notion of not leaving places had become foreign to her. Perhaps one day she would find a place to call home again. A place to decorate and display items she picked up during her travels. She always imagined having a cozy house or cottage near the water. She preferred the ocean, but a lake or river would do. Those dreams seemed so far away.

Annie walked to the bathroom, there was a small tub as she hoped for. She stripped off her sweat soaked top and got in under the warm blanket of water. Her problems seemed to disappear for a brief time. She washed her hair with the hotel's mini bottle of shampoo and washed away all the dirt from her travels all the while thinking of Ryan and wondering what he must be thinking. It was for the best, if he knew the truth, he'd be the gentleman he is, he'd insist on standing by her and seeing her through. But he didn't deserve to watch another person he loved struggle through a health issue that she may or may not survive. She wasn't going to do that to him, so she left.

/

Ben returned with food, bottled water, and new phones for both of them. He entered the room quietly thinking Annie might be asleep. He found the room empty and was worried at first until he heard sounds coming from the bathroom of the suite. The door was left open so he walked in just as Annie was climbing out of the tub and reaching for a towel. She was startled and brought the towel to her chest quickly. Ben apologized and turned around immediately though he would have loved to take in the view of her beautifully sculpted figure. When he turned around he registered something that he saw that wasn't there when he and Annie were lovers years ago. There was a rather large scar on her chest.

"I'm sorry, I saw the door open and. . . "

"I shouldn't have left it open, it's okay, there's nothing you haven't seen before," said Annie as she wrapped the towel around herself and tucked a corner in to keep the towel in place.

"You can turn around now."

Ben walked towards the vanity where Annie stood facing him, no longer naked.

His hand reached out to her chest where a small part of the scar was left uncovered by the towel. "That wasn't there the last time I saw you," said Ben.

Annie nodded and stepped back away from Ben's probing eyes. She wasn't going to let herself fall into bed with him and one touch was enough to lead to another. That was the last thing she wanted. She felt Ben's attraction to her whenever they were in contact over the years. Even though she needed his help, she wasn't going to lead him on because she had long gotten over him and her heart was with Ryan.

"Hand me my bag will you?"

Ben went back into the bedroom to retrieve Annie's bag. "I'll set out our dinner while you change," said Ben.

When Annie came out, she saw the empanadas, beers, salads and fresh fruit Ben had purchased.

"Thanks, I didn't realize how hungry I was," said Annie as she dug into the plate in front of her.

"I also got us the new phones." Annie smiled. "Great, thanks."

"The bank is just down the street, I can see it from the window."

"I walked by while I was out, opens at nine."

"Check out is noon, we'll return, split the money, pack up and head our separate ways," said Annie matter of factly.

Annie was back to being all business again as if she had never fainted and fell to the floor.

"I don't need the money, I said it before and I mean it," said Ben.

"Can we talk about the elephant in the room?" asked Ben.

Annie kept chewing.

"You called me because you couldn't go to anyone else am I right?" Annie didn't say anything.

"Okay, I'll talk. Auggie and you are on the outs or else you'd go to him, not me. There's no one else you can turn to at the agency. There's this person Ryan, you mumbled his name when you passed out, I take it you're running from him. I'm obviously your last resort. The money you're gathering belongs to someone who is dead. I'm guessing you need it because of your heart condition. You're planning on holing up off the grid while you recover."

"You can stop now Ben," said Annie firmly.

"I'm right or I'm close, come on Annie, you can be up front with me, I know I haven't always been honest and open, but I've changed and I want to do more to help you than play this Jorge Garcia," said Ben as he reached to touch her free hand.

Annie continued eating another bite as she thought about what to say.

"You're right except about the part where I recover," said Annie. She wasn't sure why she was telling him that, but it felt good to unload. It was out there now, she said it outloud, she may not recover from what she had.

Suddenly Ben's smug look changed.

"It's that bad?"

Annie nodded, "I was shot a couple of years ago, that's the scar you noticed. Then I contracted a virus that led to myocarditis, it may or may not be related. I thought I had it managed, but lately I've noticed my episodes have been more frequent and from less exertion than before."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm probably going into heart failure and need to get a pacemaker. All I know is it's bad and I know I need to change my lifestyle. I probably shouldn't be eating anything with a ton of sodium in it," said Annie as she took another bite of her empanada. Ben looked at her and took her plate away. He dumped his salad on her plate and took the rest of the empanada.

"Hey, that was mine!" said Annie.

Ben returned her plate, now full of salad. "You just said you shouldn't be eating anything loaded with sodium," said Ben.

"Look, if I'm going to meet my Maker, I want to live life," said Annie.

"What about this Ryan guy, running from him, that's not living," said Ben.

"Leave him out of it."

"You care for him," observed Ben.

Annie picked at her salad. "Are you running away because you don't want to burden him with your health because if that's the case, you're being stubborn and stupid. I fucked up my chance at a happy and normal life when I ditched you in Sri Lanka, don't make the same mistake I made."

Annie never equated leaving Ryan with what Ben did to her. "He's better off without me," said Annie.

"That's what I said to myself too," said Ben.

Annie changed the subject.

"We're even after this," said Annie. Inside she was longing for a friend, Auggie wasn't in the picture at least not in that way. He used to be the person she went to when she grappled with issues as she delved deeper into being an operative. She and Ryan shared a many wonderful moments, but in Buenos Aires, she realized she couldn't hang on to him.

"Even? Does it have to be transactional between us? I've apologized and tried my best to make amends with you over the years and I hope to be friends Annie. I want to be there for you through this."

"You're leaving on a mission, I'll be fine."

"Missions end, I want to check in on you and maybe I can help," said Ben.

She could tell he was being sincere and so she smiled.

"I appreciate that," said Annie.

"So the money, it's for surgery?" asked Ben though he had a hunch.

"I can't exactly use my health insurance for open heart surgery if I want to stay out of the thick of things," said Annie.

"Why the hell not? That's what it's for, that's what your party fought for, universal healthcare, we have the best care right in D.C. What's wrong with going home?"

"Don't get sentimental on me Mercer besides I quit the CIA," said Annie coolly.

Ben swallowed, he didn't know she quit, he didn't know much about what she had been up to. "What's your plan?"

"I've been looking at countries with decent health care, I'll establish an identity and make use of their services. Canada or the UK are looking pretty good."

"Tell me again, what's wrong with our country?"

"I want to be lost. At least for a while longer," said Annie.

"You're insane, you can't go through surgery and recovery alone," said Ben.

"That's why I need the money, I'll hire someone."

"Do you have enough funds?"

"After we hit the bank tomorrow, it should be plenty," said Annie standing up to clean her plate.

Ben shook his head, he realized he could not convince Annie otherwise in that moment.

"I'll sleep on the couch."


	6. Chapter 6

Note: Have not had much time to write, been under the weather and have visitors and a foster dog and daily life stresses, but an idea hit me and I'm taking a different turn from my other fanfics. Some new territory for me thanks for inspiration from Spidergirl, so we'll see where it goes. Thanks for reading and please leave feedback, I appreciate it.

 **Chapter 6**

The next morning. . . when her eyes opened she saw Ben sitting up on the couch.

"Morning, what time is it?" she asked in her just awake voice.

"Early still," whispered Ben. "You can go back to sleep for another two hours and we'll still be good on time."

"What are you doing up then?"

"I had a hard time staying asleep."

"Oh sorry, it must not be very comfy on the pull out," said Annie.

"It wasn't because of that, I have an idea, it's crazy, but hear me out," said Ben.

"What is it?"

"Marry me," said Ben.

Another proposal in less than a week? What were the chances? thought Annie to herself.

"What? I think your lack of sleep has gotten to you," said Annie.

"I'm serious. You can use my health insurance after I declare you my dependent as my spouse," said Ben.

"You're insane," said Annie.

"I know it sounds crazy, but this is a tangible way I can help you."

"There would be a paper trail and besides that, it's ludicrous."

"If you have other identities, this will work and it's a marriage of convenience only, I'll live my life and so will you. No one will need to know we're married except for the fact that I'll be the responsible party for your medical payments and listed as your emergency contact," said Ben with a crooked smile.

"This way, the money from these accounts will go farther for you Annie. You can buy a place with it and use what's left for living expenses and traveling. It makes sense," said Ben.

"If this is because you somehow feel responsible for me or what's come of me, don't, you're not the reason I'm sick," said Annie.

"I live and operate in the gray, sometimes in very dark places where I do terrible things for good reason, at least that's what I tell myself, it's for good. I'm on the right side aren't I? Annie, helping will remind me that I'm a good person. I need to help you as much as you need my help Annie."

Annie didn't say anything. She knew the same darkness and struggle Ben expressed, she had gone down that path too.

"I have a property on Oahu's North Shore, two small cottages that I rent out nearly year-round, you could go there and I can stop in on you between ops. You can get treated there. I looked up cardiac thoracic surgeons and there are some good ones on the island."

"You own property?"

"Not as Ben Mercer, Thomas Steele owns the property. It's my retirement plan and it's more than paying for itself through rental income, plus I get to go to paradise in the good old United States of America, the surf is great in case you've never been."

"You're insane." But Annie wasn't entirely opposed to the idea.

There was part of her that needed someone, a friend so she didn't have to go through this alone. She didn't want to burden Ryan because the bottom line was he was the type of man to stand by her no matter what and that scared her. She didn't want him to be stuck with her, she didn't want him to lose another woman he loved and she didn't like the idea of him watching her suffer. But Ben's proposal was different, she genuinely believed that he needed her and having known Ben a long time, she knew he had an insensitive side to him that would be able to compartmentalize their relationship with ease. Her feelings for him were long washed away, it was easier for her to accept his help.

"Think about it, no strings, we can each lead our separate lives after your health stabilizes and I'll float in and out of yours, I'm rarely in the country for more than a month or two each year anyway." said Ben.

"It might not stabilize. It's just not fair to make you the responsible party and insurance doesn't cover everything," said Annie.

"But that's why we're going to get the money right? And don't worry about me, I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it," said Ben.

"I'll think about it," said Annie before turning to face away from Ben. She heard him rustle into the sheets of the pull out. She tried to fall back asleep but couldn't. Neither of them sleep more after their conversation.

/

Ryan tracked Annie to the border between Venezuela and Columbia. He used his resources in Columbia to look for Penelope Wyatt and Jorge Garcia. He tracked them to a small hotel where they shared the Honeymoon Suite. But by the time he arrived there, they had checked out. He asked the hotel staff if Annie looked under duress, but they said she didn't, however they did say she also didn't act like she was on her honeymoon with the man she was with. After that, the trail went cold. No one by the name Penelope Wyatt or Jorge Garcia left Columbia through any borders or airports. They had dumped their identities. Ryan had nothing more to go on so he reached out to Joan Campbell.

"Ryan, what can I do to help you?"

"Have you heard from Annie?"

"Last I hear she was with you in Buenos Aires," said Joan.

"What's this about?" asked Joan.

"I'm going to come clean in hopes that you tell me what you know."

"I don't know anything, I spoke to her and received her debrief after Argentina. She declined returning to work for me and said she was going to take some time off with you, that's all I know," said Joan.

"She ditched me in Caracas, I tracked her to Columbia, and the scent has gone cold. I'm trying to figure out if you're involved or not."

"I can assure you, I'm not involved."

"Do these aliases mean anything to you? Penelope Wyatt or Jorge Garcia?

None of them rang a bell. "No, they aren't linked to Annie, that much I can tell you." said Joan.

"Why don't you tell me what you know?" probed Joan.

"Annie crossed the border into Columbia. Do you know why she'd do that?"

"No, I honestly don't."

"You're bullshitting me, I know she has had missions in Columbia, Calder was the station chief there wasn't he? She's got contacts and links to the country, what would she be doing there?"

"That was a long time ago, and her link to Columbia is dead."

"Well, now we're getting somewhere. I'm sending you a photo of Jorge Garcia, it's a bit grainy, but can you run an agency wide facial recognition on it for me?"

Joan was thinking as Ryan rattled on. She had spoken to Ben the day before and although he didn't tell her where he was the connection was choppy and she heard Spanish in the background. She would bet her life that Annie was with Ben Mercer.

"All right, I see it," said Joan.

"Do you recognize him?"

"No, but I'll run the facial recognition for you," said Joan. She was like Annie, an adept liar when she needed to be.

"Call me if you find anything," demanded Ryan.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"This isn't the first time Annie's gone off the grid."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, it's a pattern and she usually has a good reason."

"So let it be even if my gut tells me she's in some kind of trouble?"

"Annie is resourceful and she's a survivor," said Joan.

"Call me if after you run the recognition," said Ryan before hanging up.

/

Annie and Ben successfully emptied Teo's safe deposit box and packed up to leave Columbia.

"Listen, I was surprised when you finally responded to my call for help 6 months ago. It was a Hail Mary," said Ben.

"You sounded desperate, I may not trust you, but I wasn't going to let you flounder so I helped you."

"And I don't want to see you flounder Annie. You need a friend and sometimes I need one too," said Ben.

"It's hard to be friends with someone who lies to you."

"Touche."

"I don't lie."

"Not telling the truth and being secretive is different from lying."

"I promise to tell you what I can and to never lie to you again. If I can't tell you, I won't."

Annie thought about it. Deep down she was a soul who enjoyed being in community and being around people. She needed a friend.

"So what are you thinking?"

"That I haven't been to Hawaii since I was a kid, maybe it will do me some good," said Annie.

Ben was surprised, he meant his proposal, but he didn't think she'd agree. "The surf is great this time of year," said Ben.

Annie smiled.

"Let's go then we have a lot of work to do if you're to become Mrs. Thomas Steele."

"Who says I'm taking your name?"

And they both laughed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Silence and long stares out the window filled the bulk of the journey to their next destination. Annie withdrew into herself, it was the default state she adopted as her career took twists and turns over the last year. It was less exhausting to not have connections. . . and as she reflected she found it ironic that she was going to marry Ben Mercer in a couple of days. Her 26 year old self would have been giddy at the thought of just moving in with him, marriage was far from her mind when she fell in love with him, she only wanted to have fun and travel the world with someone who had the same sense of adventure and zest for life she did. Instead the realization that hit her the most was that she had in her journey as an operative become just like Ben Mercer and she was in that very moment doing to Ryan what he did to her. She let out a small chuckle, life was certainly funny.

Ben looked over when he saw her face and heard the small laugh coming from her lips. So little had come out of that mouth of hers, so he took notice. "Care to share what's so funny?" She shook her head and went back to where her mind had wandered. . . her last thought was of Ryan and how she knew exactly how he must be feeling. Soon the sadness would turn into anger and the sooner the better. She wanted him to forget all about her.

Ben wondered about her condition and made sure to carry the heavy bags filled with cash. She shrugged off his concern when he noticed her taking her pulse, she tried to be discreet, but he was trained to notice people and for the time being she was his chief concern. The silence between them didn't bother him, he figured sooner or later she would begin to trust him again, she was already taking a great leap of faith. His many years operating alone taught him to appreciate silence and even crave it when he was no longer working. So the current state of affairs with Annie was no different, he told himself to pretend it was a mission, to not get attached like he did all those years ago. His goal was to get her the medical treatment she needed, nothing more. He wanted her to believe there were no strings attached to his help and he needed to believe it himself too because after all these years of regrets over his mistakes he could never let himself wish for her forgiveness.

/

Annie and Ben traveled from Columbia under new aliases and headed to the Cayman Islands. They were about to open accounts with a portion of the cash they collected. Annie was now Rebecca Laconte and able to leave Columbia undetected thanks to a few favors from Ben's contacts and Annie's ability to drop Calder Michaels' name.

Joan Campbell was almost always no non-sense and unemotional. She had to be to survive in what was still mostly a man's world. When Ryan McQuaid sent her the fuzzy screenshot of Jorge Garcia she knew immediately it was one of her most talented deep cover agents, Ben Mercer. If Ben and Annie were together again she knew one or both of them were in dire straits. Ben worked off book for a little known division within the DPD and he was good at it because no one missed him when he was gone for months at a time and his particular personality profile made him capable of handling the immense pressure and stress of living multiple lives. He was supposed to be prepping for an intelligence gathering job in India and Pakistan, but when Joan was presented with evidence to the contrary she was NOT happy. The fact that he was with Annie Walker not only piqued her interest, but worried her.

"I'm going to ask you a question and before you answer I want you to think about the consequences of lying to me."

Ben hadn't even had the chance to utter a greeting when he picked up his phone.

"I need to call you back." said Ben to Joan as he looked over at Annie.

"No, you can be pulled from the next job and all future jobs, is that what you want?"

Annie who was about to walk into a bank in the Cayman Islands looked at Ben and mouthed, "Joan?" to him. He nodded. Annie looked up to the sky flustered and exhaled deeply.

"Okay, I can talk now," said Ben to Joan.

"Are you with Annie?"

"I'm not sure how to answer that because I don't know what you mean by with?"

"It's no time to be a joker with me Ben," said Joan curtly. He could hear the annoyance in her voice and feel it through his phone.

"My personal life has no bearing on my work, I'll be ready and on the job at the appointed time," said Ben.

"The reason you're with Annie is personal, it has nothing to do with a mission or what Annie has been working on recently?"

"You have my word."

"Can you give her a message?"

"I can put you on speaker," said Ben shocking both Annie and Joan. Annie clenched her jaw and crinkled her brow. How could he do this when she expressly told him before that she wanted to go off the grid? She was pissed at Ben for revealing that she was with him and in all likelihood, Joan knew Ben's location as well. Annie suddenly had second thoughts about the plans she made with Ben over the last twelve hours. Without thinking more about it, Annie punched Ben in his upper arm with all her strength.

"Ow!"

"Annie? Hello? Is everything all right?"

She sighed and let out a deep breath, "Yes, Joan."

"I guess your request for some time to think about my offer was genuine," said Joan.

"Thank you for the offer Joan, really, but I've decided to take an indefinite leave."

"Annie, what's going on?"

"There are some personal matters I need to resolve," said Annie.

"Is it your heart condition? What can I do to help?"

She could hear the concern in Joan's voice. Joan had her hunches, but really the distance between them narrowed and widened like a river. She really wasn't sure where Annie's head was at the moment.

"Um, no nothing right now," said Annie.

"Ryan McQuaid is looking for you and he's traced the two of you to Columbia, he has surveillance footage of the two of you together except he doesn't know who you are withyet. But it's only a matter of time before he figures it out. He knows the aliases you used at the border crossing and he's asked for my help to run a facial rec on Jorge Garcia," reported Joan.

"What are you going to do?"

"I will not compromise any of my operatives and ongoing missions so I won't tell him about Ben. But Ryan is persistent because he's worried about you and thinks you're in some kind of distress."

"Thank you for the heads up."

"He's worried about you and I am too," said Joan.

"I don't want to worry him and that's why I'm doing this Joan. Can you encourage him to stop looking for me?"

"I'm not sure how I can control the situation, he's his own man," said Joan.

"Tell him I'm not the marrying kind, make shit up about me and my past so he thinks he's dodged a bullet," said Annie.

There was silence on the other end. Joan wanted to shake Annie and tell her what she learned, at the end of the day, it's who is at home waiting that matters the most.

Ben was still present and was getting a bigger picture of what was going on with Annie and it became clear who this Ryan really was.

"I'll do that on one condition," said Joan.

Annie rolled her eyes, the last thing she needed was to have ties with Langley and Joan.

"What's that?"

"Ask me when you do need help. The time may come and I want you to know you can call me anytime and no matter what you need, I'll do my best to support you," said Joan.

That wasn't what Annie expected and she was touched. Her voiced cracked when she said, "Okay, I'll remember that, thank you Joan."

"Just remember what I said Annie. Ben?"

"Yes ma'am!"

"A word off line, it's about your next job," said Joan.

/

Joan decided to be proactive and called Ryan McQuaid.

"Joan what do you have for me?"

"I had tech run facial rec for the image you sent me and the alias used."

"And?"

"I'm sorry to report that his image isn't on file in our systems," said Joan.

"Bullshit Joan!"

"Excuse me?"

"Annie knows that man and my hunch is you know him too."

"I can tell you that his alias Jorge Garcia was used by someone else, someone Annie once knew, but that's all I can tell you."

"What the hell is going on?"

"Ryan, let her go, if she's involved in something related to the man who used the alias Jorge Garcia, I don't think she'll ever return," said Joan.

"Who was he to her?"

"Someone she cared deeply about," said Joan.

Ryan was silent on the other end.

"Annie has made sacrifices in her life and her relationships have never impacted her job which has made her an exceptional operative," said Joan.

"What are you saying?"

"She chose to go dark and be dead to her family and Auggie, that's her track record."

"Auggie?"

"You didn't know? He was more than her handler. They were a couple before she went off the grid the last time. Look, I've known Annie a lot longer than you have. I'm familiar with Annie's pattern of behavior and I want to save you a lot of trouble. She's not going to turn up until she's ready to."

"Something feels wrong and off Joan."

"She's a big girl and she'll land on her feet,"

"Okay thanks Joan."

A full picture of Annie emerged. From his conversation with Joan Ryan gathered that Annie had many more secrets and unfinished business. He wondered why she wasn't upfront with him. Something didn't feel right about the situation, but he had to get back to his life and his company. He had no time to go on a wild goose chase for Annie Walker.

/

When Ben finished up his call with Joan, he approached Annie who was still fuming a bit over.

"Why did you do that?"

"Doesn't it feel good to have the truth out? We need allies and Joan is a good one to have, besides who do you think is HR for me? We need her to sign off on adding you to my insurance as a dependent."

"I thought we could use an alias and get around it."

"You think Joan would not do her homework if I suddenly had a wife? It's better to be upfront with her and get her onboard, she is going to find out about our marriage of convenience."

Annie thought about it for a few seconds. He was right. It was a smart move.

"Ready to take care of business?"

Annie nodded.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **Note: These characters do not belong to me, they belong to USA and CA writers. This chapter is based on Brink of the Clouds.**

 **Two years later**

Ryan McQuaid received an alarming call in the early hours of the morning, just before dawn. It took a few seconds of listening for him to register who was on the other end of the line, but when he realized who he was speaking to, images and memories of Annie Walker flooded his head though someone else was in bed next to him. He walked into his office so he wouldn't disturb the sleeping woman.

"You can talk now," said Ryan.

Ryan listened to the man on the other end provide some startling news. There were moments of static and it seemed the man cut out at times, but he got the gist of it.

"You're absolutely sure?"

"I would not risk my life and that of my family and village to tell you this," said the man on the other end.

"Where are you now?"

"Visiting my daughter and her family in Turkey. It was already planned except I took my whole family instead of just my wife."

"How old is this information?"

"I saw him with my own eyes no more than two days ago."

"I can't move on this intel without proof, visual confirmation."

"And you'll have it," said the man on the other end. "I sent it to you as soon as I arrived in Turkey. It should be arriving at your office this morning along with coordinates of his camp."

Ryan could tell this was likely legitimate, but he was also hyper vigilant.

"Why did you reach out to me instead of taking care of it yourself?"

"This is your government's doing, you need to finish the job. I won't risk my men with this business. I trust you and I don't want my country to get drawn into anything violent in the name of Allah. We are trying to live a peaceful life, to survive, work, feed our families and stay safe. That's what I was trying to do when I told you where Tabrizi was two years ago."

"Can you stay in Turkey until we resolve the issue?"

"Yes."

"Get a new phone and call me from it in three hours."

The two men hung up.

Ryan sat back in his chair and let out a deep exhale. He didn't want to do it, but he got up from his seat, opened up his safe and took out a photo he had taken in the cockpit of his plane. It was his only photo of her, he wasn't quite sure why he printed it out and kept the photo. He thought he let go of her, but this intel provided by the warlord Hasad Vahid reminded him of Annie Walker, someone he hadn't given any thought to lately.

The photo was a selfie Ryan took before he and Annie took off from Argentina. In the photo they were slightly disheveled, but happy, relieved, and excited for the adventure ahead or so he thought. It turned out he was happy and unsuspecting. Ryan often wondered if what he had with Annie was real or not. In the weeks and months after she disappeared on him, he convinced himself that their relationship was nothing more than a fling and had it not been for the circumstances he never would have been drawn to her. He believed he was just part of her mission and when the mission was over, her attachment to him ended.

McQuaid's eyes looked into Annie's eyes on the photo, he prided himself on being able to read people and in her eyes he saw sincerity beyond the exhaustion. Perhaps that was why he stopped looking at the photo over a year ago. A small part of him still wanted to give her the benefit of doubt except when he was angry that she didn't just tell him she didn't want to get married. Over the last a couple of years, thoughts of Annie turned up here and there, every once in a while he'd run her name and face through various systems, but they always led to nothing but dead ends.

Eventually Ryan went on and one day he met Laura Hanson. She had nothing to do with his world, she was a high school physical education teacher and girls swim team coach who also lost her husband, but not to cancer. He was a Marine killed by an IED. They met while training for a triathlon and soon the morning runs and swims turned into coffee and then brunch and finally a bona fide date. She was despite what life threw at her a happy and upbeat woman who lived life to the fullest, so very different from Annie Walker. He felt guilty for looking at Annie's photo with Laura in his bed down the hall. So he tucked it back into his safe.

McQuaid operated best under pressure, he pushed her out of his head and picked up his phone to dial the Campbell residence.

Joan answered groggily, "I'll put Arthur on."

"No, put the phone on speaker. I'm calling for both of you."

"I'm here Ryan, what is it?" asked Arthur.

"I have some time sensitive intel. Joan, can you get all your experts on the terrain and current situation in Azerbaijan together ASAP?"

"Azerbaijan? What's this about?"

"A ghost, I just need to wait for a package at work. Arthur, you're going to need to take the helm at work. Ask Costa to merge our meetings or prioritize mine over yours if possible. I'm probably heading to Azerbaijan by day's end"

"You got it," said Arthur.

"See you at Langley then," said Joan who knew this had to be serious.

Ryan went to his master closet to pick out his suit for the day. After a quick shower and shave, he dressed. Ryan kissed the woman who was still sleeping and left a note saying he had to go into work and might need to travel out of the country for a couple of days.

/

Ryan entered the conference room where he found Joan Campbell, Eric Barber, and a junior analyst.

"Operating lean huh?"

"Azerbaijan is not even on the top 10 for the DPD McQuaid. We've got Russia, Syria, North Korea, China, Pakistan, all of North Africa…"

Ryan nodded, he understood the current landscape.

"This won't take up too much bandwidth once you see what I have here, quick and dirty. I just need some assistance from you, I can supply my own men."

"Sir, we weren't sure what region of Azerbaijan you were interested in, but I've pulled up the most recent sat images and reports from the few assets we have on the ground."

Ryan nodded acknowledgement as he dropped the envelope on the table.

Joan had been intrigued since she first received his call. She reached to where the envelope landed. When she opened the envelope and saw the photos, her recognition wasn't immediate.

So Ryan spoke as he took a seat, "That's Farouk Tabrizi, also known as Nathan Mueller."

Joan could not hide her surprise. Mueller wasn't dead? How could that be she wondered.

"I know the CIA would want to finish the job. I feel responsible and want to make sure it's done myself," said Ryan.

That bastard Mueller was the worst kind of American, a traitor who twisted everything his uniform stood for and he also go into Annie's head that day he took them prisoner. They had no time to confirm proof of the kill and for that McQuaid felt regret.

"Where did you get this?"

"A local warlord, Hasad Vahid, Annie got his men to take us to him two years ago. He was helpful in locating Mueller. It was all in the report two years ago."

"And how did he come across Mueller?"

"He was traveling in a remote part of the countryside to visit his wife's family. One of his children fell ill and he took him to a clinic in the town of Balakan, near the Georgian border. There he saw a photo of Mueller on the desk of the doctor."

"Is the doctor involved?"

"As far as Vahid knows, Mueller was brought there to be treated and he brought him back from the brink of death. In making small talk he learned that it took months for Mueller to recover from burns and broken bones, but Mueller is nearby, he goes to the clinic regularly for meds and has made friends with the head doctor there."

"So what's the plan?"

"Vahid believes Mueller will be at the clinic in the next week based on what the doctor said."

"Where is his set up? Some of these pictures show a wooded location."

"Vahid said in the mountains, technically Georgia. Zagatala State Reserve, if you turn those over, he wrote coordinates down."

"Georgia?"

"I know."

Joan was thinking. "We have an advantage here, let's get eyes on the ground and. . ."

"Wait, you don't want to take him out?"

"I didn't say that, but who is he working with? Who's funding him still? What is he planning? Is it bigger than Mueller? There are lots of unanswered questions and I am in the business of intelligence gathering."

"Here I was thinking I'd go there to ID the body after another drone attack on his camp."

Joan's wheels were turning. She didn't have many men to spare, but she couldn't rule out that Mueller was still apart of something larger.

"What name is he going by?"

"Zamir Tabagari"

"Hmm. . Tabagari, that's a Georgian surname," said Eric.

"Come on Joan, Langley's got a lot of its' plate, let's just take him out once and for all, then we can all move on and put our efforts elsewhere."

Joan was thinking.

"Thank you for the intel McQuaid, we'll take it from here then."

"What? No, I want to finish this."

"Finish what? Are you sure this is about Mueller?"

"What are you talking about, Mueller is all we've been talking about here."

Joan raised an eyebrow. There was something else going on.

"Give us some time to look into Tabagari and see what chatter we have on the region. We also can't overlook the connection to Belenko and Georgia. Let's all reconvene in an hour."

Ryan rubbed his chin and nodded his head.


	9. Chapter 9

Note: Have had a lot going on, illnesses and injuries in the family. MIL was with us until two days ago. She got seriously hurt while visiting and had to have surgery and recoup here before returning to her home. It was a LONG few months. I'm happy to have my home back. So sorry for the delay, hope to clean what I have of this fan fix up and complete it this month. No promises for the others. Sorry to leave these hanging, but they're not abandoned. Most are 75% finished on my computer and 100% finished in my head. Ha!

In this chapter Ryan flashes back to scenes from Brink of the Clouds. . .one of my fave episodes of Season 5.

/

While still waiting at Langley for Joan's team to assess the situation, Ryan asked Joan's assistant for a secure room to check his emails and get on the phone. He wondered if there was more to Tabrizi resurfacing like Joan suggested? Perhaps he wanted to finish off Mueller to rid himself of other ghosts. . .

Ryan called his company headquarters and received the latest from Arthur Campbell on McQuaid Securities' ongoing missions and began to call a couple of his best and most trusted men to be ready for a mission in Azerbaijan. These men were really his closest friends, men he had known for years, men who had seen him at his worst and at his best. After his calls, he did some of his own digging into Mueller, a man who had a similar path to many men he knew. Mueller was a West Point graduate. He was highly trained and decorated, trusted with the Nation's security abroad, what made him turn his back on his country and his family? What happened to make him a prime target for Belenko? And what is he up to now? Ryan saw that Mueller was given a hero's burial with a fabricated story about his clandestine work with rebels. That irritated him to no end, he and his men risked their lives to bring him down and yet Mueller died a hero. August Anderson even gave a eulogy. He called his assistant and asked him to locate Anderson so he could pick his brain more about his old friend and teammate.

Before Ryan knew it, his thoughts again turned to one Annie Walker and their mutual link to Mueller. He admitted it wasn't easy to forget her. At first he filled his headspace with other things to avoid thinking of her and wondering why she left him without any explanation. Then he concluded that she wasn't built to be with anyone and probably didn't care for him as deeply as he had cared for her. He chuckled as the irony of the situation wasn't lost on him. It was in that very building where he was waiting that she was told he would escort her to locate Nathan Mueller a couple of years ago. It was on that mission where he had the opportunity to spend many hours with her. He recalled a conversation they had after they returned from Mueller's camp to thank Hasad Vahid.

Ryan McQuaid was always working and making trusted contacts wherever he went, he didn't have any contacts in Azerbaijan, but he certainly wasn't going to pass up the chance to make one so he developed a relationship with Hasad Vahid based on that one trip. When he was done exchanging information with Hasad and cultivating him as a contact should he ever need help again in his neck of the woods, he looked out the door frame to where Annie was sitting on the stone ledge. Even from afar, he could read her mood. The short spurts they spent together since they first met in Chicago allowed him to store in his brain more and more data points about her mannerisms, facial expressions, moods, and habits. He noted the furrows and lines her face made involuntarily and her long stares revealing her melancholy and self-loathing. He would bet money that she let Mueller's words back at his camp get to her. She looked spent and so he walked over and asked if she wanted anything to drink.

Of course, her walls were still up and her words were few with him. She declined. Screw it, he remembered thinking. He had to say what he needed to say to her and he did and it worked. He saw a glimmer of appreciation in her eyes, after he told her she didn't have to be alone, but he knew she still didn't take what he said to heart. The past, her past, had a deep hold on her. It was deeper than he thought. Though he was remembering a turning point in their relationship, it didn't change the fact and in the end she left him high and dry in Venezuela.

He looked off into the distance and irritation with her returned. Why the hell did she take off? Before he knew it Joan's assistant retrieved him from the room.

/

Back in Joan's office. . . Joan spoke with authority.

"Okay, here's the deal McQuaid, you'll go in with a small footprint, watch the clinic and verify the location of Mueller's camp. We need to find out what Mueller's end game is, get all his electronics and ascertain his link to Georgia and if any link to Belenko remains. And you will take him alive and bring him back here, let's not involve the locals."

"Alive? You wanted him dead before!" Ryan asked in a surprised and irritated manner.

Joan nodded, "As far as we know, Belenko and the world believes Mueller is dead, remember he blamed him for his brother's death, saw him as a murderer, but perhaps Mueller never figured out that Belenko wanted him dead."

Ryan's wheels turned. "That's going to require a lot of expertise. I'm going to need someone who knows the language to get around."

Joan nodded.

"I've asked the head of a JSOC team Joel Milano to give us a few minutes."

Joan's assistant dialed the JSOC team.

"Commander, been a long time!"

"It sure has been, Commander McQuaid," replied the man. "I also have Lieutenant Steve Miller from our Pacific Command on the line, he's led some ops in the region, but not specifically the area you are targeting."

"I'm no longer in uniform, Ryan will do," responded McQuaid.

"So you're up to speed on what we're dealing with?"

"Yes," said Commander Milano.

"Do you have someone who can lend us a hand?"

"I had a man familiar with Azerbaijan and Turkey, but he had a climbing accident and busted his shoulder and leg. He's out of commission for a while."

"And you have no one you can spare?"

"No, not someone who fits your requirements," responded the Commander.

"What about you Joan?" asked McQuaid with some concern in his voice. He had no one on his team who was familiar with Azeri and Turkish.

Joan shook her head. "I can't risk ongoing ops to pull someone who knows Russian, Azeri and Turkish and the various dialects in the area, besides no one fits that bill completely anyway." Joan was lying through her teeth.

Lieutenant Miller piped up, "How about that gal we used for the hostage exchange in Somalia?"

Milano piped up, "She's good, I worked with her just a couple of months ago, she translated some chatter we intercepted out of Aleppo."

Joan spoke up, "What's her name? I don't think I'm familiar with her."

"Her name is Steele, Rebecca Laconte Steele," said Lieutenant Miller. The only problem is she doesn't go into the field. She's an academic who reviews and translates documents from her study."

"Oh, rings a bell now, she may occasionally get on the line for us, but she's not fit for this op. Like Steve said, she doesn't get her hands dirty."

"This Steele woman is your top choice for something like this?" asked Ryan.

"She's been on the line and provided real time translations of chatter we've picked up for over a dozen missions," said his former SEAL friend Joel. "She's good, professional, and she doesn't just translate, she has good instincts on the intel. She already has high level security clearance. But as Ms. Campbell said, she's not field trained man, she just likes to work in the comfort of her study."

"Well, if she's an academic she probably has some student loans to pay off, perhaps money will talk?"

"You can try my friend, but knowing her, money won't work, I think she's pretty loaded already."

"Oh yeah? Where does this linguistic expert live because I never met anyone who didn't have a price."

"She lives on the North Shore of Oahu," said Joel.

"Wait a second, you can't take a civilian into this unknown and potentially volatile situation!" said Joan.

"Joan, I'll make sure she stays out of harm's way and fill her on basics of field work on the trip over," retorted Ryan.

"Let me reach out to her. It's the middle of the night here, but I'll give her a call. Be right back," said Miller.

"No answer, I'll stop by the university and talk to her."

"There's no time to give her an option. Tell her we'll be there in less than 10 hours and have her read in and ready to leave."

"You need someone trained to go with you, there's too much at risk." said Joan.

"Well, right now you're all saying she's the best and I need the best," said Ryan.

"I'll make it worth her while."

"Ryan, I have an asset in Pakistan who I can tap. He's fit for the field." Said Joan.

"It will be faster for me to get to Hawaii, than wait for you to haul some guy out of Pakistan, Joan. All she needs to do to ask a few questions once we're there, easy money."

She didn't push it. Sometimes it was better to let things unfold.

"I'll get some papers and credentials worked up for her and take her out to the range for a basic firearms lesson," said Miller.

"I don't know Miller, sounds like you're hot on this girl and eager to spend time with her," jabbed Milano.

"Nothing like that sir, she's a hottie, but I think she's married," said Miller.

Joan gave Ryan the intel her team had come up with. As soon as Ryan left she tried to reach Annie without success.

/

When Hasad Vahid called, Ryan filled him in on the situation and gathered a few more details on the terrain and who he could trust in the area.

"And you have no idea what Mueller may be up to?" asked Ryan.

"No, but whatever it is, I don't want him there. He's no good, what did you find out?" said Vahid.

"Nothing, Langley is just as surprised as you were that he's still breathing."

"Thank you my friend for going there."

"I'll call you when I have info to share," said Ryan.

/

Ryan called his assistant Costa, "Get the plane and gear ready in an hour, we have a pit stop in Hawaii first. Have them pack surveillance gear and equipment that will work for everyone."

"Yes sir."

"I'll be there in 20 and then wheels up in no more than 40 minutes."

"Got it."

/

Ryan returned to his headquarters to gear up and print whatever he could. Costa nervously handed him a file on Rebecca Laconte Steele. He knew his boss would be startled at its contents.

Ryan put it down. He was too busy getting things ready for his unexpected trip and making a mental list of people he needed to call.

"Is my pack ready to go?"

"Yes sir," said Costa.

"Did you pack extra surveillance and tactical gear to fit Ms. Steele?"

"Already done sir," said Costa.

"Sir, the translator, Ms. Steele lives on the North Shore of Oahu. The address is in the files. She's a contractor for the Naval Station at Pearl Harbor and has worked with Pacific Command on a number of highly classified ops. She is also an adjunct professor teaching linguistics at the University of Manoa. Occasionally she also gives language seminars to SEAL teams before they depart on missions."

"Thanks for the synopsis, what about the maps on the area in question, cash, and unlocked phones." It was a trick he learned from Annie. Unlocked phones were a currency in places like Azerbaijian.

"All on the aircraft sir."

"Thanks Costa, you're a life saver. Just put the files in my bag."

With that Ryan threw on his jacket and headed to the airfield to meet his men. It would be a long flight to Hawaii to pick up the translator.


	10. Chapter 10

Note: I do not own these characters, they belong to CA Writers. I so wish I knew what they had in mind for S6. . . thank you for reading and hanging in there with me. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Chapter 10

 **Hawaii, two years ago**

As soon as Annie landed in Honolulu with Ben she saw a cardiologist. It helped that Ben managed to hack into the doctor's scheduling programs to add her as a patient. Next, she was referred to a cardiothoracic surgeon. Annie completed a number of labs and tests. In between appointments she lounged on the beautiful beaches of Waikiki while Ben took care of his diligence for his next mission. While hiking Diamond Head with Ben at sunset she felt another episode coming on. It just further signified that she couldn't go on without surgery.

Although Annie enjoyed the therapy of the ocean, Ryan was fresh on her mind. She wondered if he was still looking for her after nearly two weeks. When she went against Auggie's advice and made plans with Calder to fake her death, he was upset, but he understood her reasons and managed to move on remarkably well. Annie hoped that Ryan would do the same. Except she knew he was in the dark regarding why she left and that missing information made a big difference. . . maybe she should have told him about her condition worsening. Annie pushed him out of her head. She had to move forward.

On their third morning in Hawaii, Annie and Ben were back at the Queen's Hospital. The cardiothoracic surgeon opened his office door and sat down across from Annie and Ben. Annie wished it were Ryan sitting next to her, her thoughts circled back to him again, but suddenly she was back to the present. "Well, Mr. and Mrs. Steele, I'm afraid it's as we suspected."

Ben took her hand and squeezed it.

"The effects of the valve damage can no longer be optimally managed with medication alone, I'm sure you know that deep down and that's why you're here," said Dr. Takahashi. "From your records it appears at a minimum you're using your injectors once a week, that's not sustainable and the more your heart needs to work, the more irreparable damage it will sustain over time."

"What do you suggest as the next step doctor?" asked Ben.

"I would start with valve repair and medications to support your heart's normal functioning. We'll see how you do. If that is not managing your symptoms and giving you a good quality of life, we'll move to valve replacement."

Annie nodded.

"What about going straight to valve replacement?" asked Ben.

"Some docs like to bring out the big guns first, but I'd rather scale up. If we start with a valve replacement and that doesn't work, there's really no other option left but a transplant. But you will be on medications for the rest of your life with either operation and you'll need to change your lifestyle," said Dr. Takahashi with seriousness.

"What does that mean?" asked Annie.

"That means a heart healthy diet, regular but gentle exercise once you've recovered, eight hours of sleep minimum, and reduce the stress and anxiety in your life. The most common post surgical issues arise from not taking care of yourself and not being compliant with medications, I'll tell you I see it all the time, but you look like you have the support you need and drive to get healthy, so you're already ahead of the curve," said the doctor looking to Ben.

"I'll make sure she follows the doctor's orders."

"Well, this is a big decision so I like to tell all my patients to get second opinion."

"That won't be necessary, I'd like to get on your surgery schedule as soon as possible," said Annie.

"Out of curiosity, did you have a bad cold or infection prior to the onset of symptoms?"

Annie thought about it. While she was in Germany tracking down evidence against Henry Wilcox, she did spend a couple traveling with aches and pains and a fever she self-medicated with Tylenol and Advil, but she soldiered on.

"Yes, I remember falling ill," replied Annie.

"Hmm. . . because of your past heart surgery, you should have gone on antibiotics as soon as you developed signs of infection. You will need to do that moving forward. Any sign of a cold, fever, chills and you'll need to take antibiotics to prevent the virus from attacking your heart."

"You mean this condition could have been avoided had I taken antibiotics when I had that cold?"

"I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, the past cannot be changed, but I'm saying that to drive home a point about taking care of yourself. Didn't your previous surgeon explain all this to you?"

Annie shook her head because she never went back and had her follow-ups after she was discharged against medical advice. She was so focused on her grief over Simon and her need for retribution against Lena. She couldn't blame Langley for this, she put her desire to hurt Lena above her own health.

Ben piped up when he saw Annie's face. It was a familiar look. She was looking despondent and beating herself up. "Don't worry doc, I'll make sure she takes care of herself and takes her meds."

"My nurse will schedule you, I think I have an opening later this week, if you go and get the pre-surgery labs done, you'll be all set. Prepare for 3-5 days in the hospital post surgery."

"Thank you doctor," said Annie before standing up.

Ben was due to leave on his mission in a week. Joan agreed to give him some more time to help Annie get settled in.

After filling out the pre-admission paperwork. The "couple" walked silently to the parking lot. "This is good, this is what you need," said Ben as he opened the car door for her. "I know," replied Annie as she got into the car.

Ben was in the driver's seat.

"I know what you're thinking and you need to stop, look ahead, not back. I'm going to call around and find someone to help you out after I leave," said Ben.

Annie didn't respond. He put his hand on her chin, "Chin up Walker, you're going to be fine if you follow the doctor's orders!"

She smiled at him weakly.

/

Back to the present day North Shore of Oahu

Annie's life since her surgery was pretty normal as far as life for former spies goes. She did call on Joan for her help to procure a job. She wanted to make a difference with her God given skills so she was on contract as a translator for the Pacific Command and she made a name for herself so she would get occasional work in addition to her course load as an adjunct at a local university. Still she had plenty of time to take walks and swim in the ocean. Her days of running hard and gun fights were over, but she learned to enjoy the pace of her new life.

Ben would come and go between missions. She recently came to look forward to his spurts of time with her. They would do repairs that needed to be done at his beach cottages. Then hit up the farmer's markets, take in a movie and check out new restaurants. But Ben was Ben and he would spend many nights out drinking and picking up women when he was in town, usually tourists. She sometimes heard him coming home with them or stumble home alone from spending a night in a hotel in Waikiki. One such night she was startled awake and her instincts kicked in. She retrieved one of her guns, it felt heavy in hand as she walked down the hall to the front door. She thought her home was being broken into, it turned out it was Ben who had mistaken her cottage for the one he was staying in while he was stateside. She helped him onto her couch and took off his shoes. Before he passed out, he said, "Mrs. Steele, I wish you were Mrs. Mercer and this were real. . . I've always loved you."

That happened nearly two months ago, he left the next day not remembering what he revealed to Annie. Annie didn't bring it up when she woke him up with a mug of black coffee the next day. She didn't realize Ben felt that way about her still. He made it clear he was doing what he was doing as her friend and nothing more and she took it at face value because she spent her time thinking about Ryan and what they could have had. All along, Ben was the one who was with her, seeing her through surgery and recovery. They hugged good-bye after he cleaned up and packed. Ben said he'd be back in about three months and would try to drop her a line when he could.

/

Annie woke up before her alarm went off. She took her pulse and blood pressure before she stepped out of bed as she did each morning. She walked to the small cozy kitchen and put two eggs in a pot of water on the stove before doing a few stretches and yoga positions on her lanai. She turned off the boiling water and hopped in the shower. Her phone was still in the charger and she didn't see the slew of missed calls.

After getting dressed for work Annie ate her breakfast of hard boiled eggs and toast washed down with a green protein shake. Her watch vibrated and she went into her medicine cabinet to take her first dose of vasodilators and anti-coagulants of the day.

/

When Annie walked out to her car, she saw a Navy jeep pull up to her cottage.

It was a familiar face, she figured he had some new situation where she was needed.

"I'm on my way to teach a class Miller!" said Rebecca Steele (Annie).

"I've got a situation to fill you in on, but you won't need to be ready for another six hours or so. I tried to reach you, but you weren't answering, so I can read you in while I drive you to work."

"Oh shit, my personal phone's in the charger!" said Annie. Her mind was somewhere else last night as she checked the message board she used to communicate with Ben. She hadn't heard from him in about two weeks and was getting worried.

"I need to run inside."

"Sure."

When Annie retrieved her phone she was the missed calls from Miller and one from a number she didn't quite recognize. The voicemails were only from Miller.

Miller took her roller computer and file bag and placed it in the back seat before opening the door for her.

He began talking as he drove her to her first class of the day. As Miller filled her in, Annie wished to be in her own car. . .

"No, no, no, no," said Annie out loud.

She took her hair out of the upswept bun and removed her glasses as if it would ward off the figurative and literal headache she felt coming on.

Miller's news that Ryan McQuaid was on his way to pick her up to do a translation job was unexpected to say the least, but perhaps he had no idea he was going to see her when he showed up at Rebecca Laconte Steele's home. Annie took a deep breath as she composed herself.

"There's got to be someone else for the job," said Rebecca.

She let out a huge sigh, "I have classes to teach and you know very well I don't. . ."

"There's no one else and this guy is good, he'll keep you safe. He's in the business of safety and you will be well compensate for your expertise and time," said Miller.

"I know," muttered Annie.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, when is he arriving?"

"He just left San Francisco and is inflight now, he'll be at your place in about six hours. Look, I know it's scary to go in the field, but you've been present in the command center enough to have an idea of what it's like. After your classes I'll pick you up for the range and give you some pointers."

Annie calculated in her head her options. Would she be able to hide and disappear before Ryan showed up? She had a life in Oahu, she wasn't sure she wanted to turn her back on it. And what about Ben?

Annie was still in a bit of shock. "I'll also need to take a recent picture of you for your credentials and I'll have all your paperwork and passports ready then too," said Miller as he parked at the University where Annie taught.

Just then Annie heard her phone. It rang earlier, but she was listening to Miller and didn't register the light ring.

"Hold on, I need to take this."

Annie answered her phone and exited the car to maintain some distance from Miller.

"Annie finally! I'm glad I got a hold of you," it was Joan on the other end.

"Is this about Ryan?"

"Miller already there?"

"Um hmm," replied Annie.

"I'm sorry," said Joan.

"What's going on?"

"Remember Nathan Mueller, or shall I say Fabrizi? He's been spotted," said Joan.

Annie's thoughts turned to that period in her life. Images flashed back to her head at a rapid pace.

"Mueller? He could not have survived that droning? I was there, his place was annihilated!"

"But you, McQuaid, and his men survived, so we need to be open to the possibility that this intel is solid. You didn't have time to get an ID on the body," reminded Joan.

"How did you come across this intel?"

"McQuaid has a contact in Azerbaijian, he contacted Ryan earlier today. He trusts the contact enough, so we're sending in a team."

"That's the connection to Ryan," said Annie thinking aloud.

Annie remembered that day. . .and the man who helped them track Kravec's courier. Shit thought Annie. Why were there so many ghosts in her life? Even oceans could not separate her from her past.

"What is Mueller up to?"

"We don't know, so that's why we need to get on the ground and I tried to find another translator, but failed. I'm sorry Annie, but. . ." said Joan.

"It's not your fault Joan. I knew sooner or later something like this would happen, I was just hoping for later," sighed Annie.

"What are you going to do?"

"Are you asking if I'm going to stick around?" laughed Annie.

"I'll be here, Joan. Thanks for the call," said Annie before hanging up.

She returned to Miller who was on the phone and starring over at Annie and nodding. Unbeknownst to her, he was speaking with Ryan McQuaid.

"Take the damn photo Miller," said Annie. This was happening, She couldn't and wouldn't run from the situation. The old Annie might have, but the new Annie wanted to keep her current life.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Author's Note: I enjoyed writing this chapter as news that Annie is Rebecca unfolded for Ryan. I have a few more chapters in mind for this fanfic and will also try to end it in the next couple of weeks before leaving town. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

After landing and refueling in foggy San Francisco, Jim and Fitz took over flying the next leg to Honolulu so Ryan and Dex could get some rest. Ryan quickly inhaled a turkey and avocado club sandwich chased down with a Dr. Pepper before he retrieved his bag and took a seat.

During this time, Annie was still clueless as she prepared for her day. California was three hours behind D.C. and Hawaii was another two hours behind the West Coast of the country.

"Why don't you take a cat nap while you still have the chance, whatever's waiting for us in Azerbaijan probably requires you to be rested," said Dex who took out his eye mask and reclined his chair fully.

"You've grown soft in the private sector. That's my fault as your boss," joked Ryan laughing for the first time that day. Normally, Ryan McQuaid always had a witty remark. He was a positive and glass half full guy. The many lines on his handsome face indicated he was a man who enjoyed laughing and found humor in everything.

"What's up the with satin shades? Seriously?"

"You don't have two kids under three disturbing your shut eye at your house," quipped Dex. "I catch my zzz's when I can, this here is a vacation compared to taking care of those yahoos," said Dex with a wickedly handsome smile. In truth, it was harder for him to leave his family these days. His wife was always understanding, but with the new addition the added stress of worrying about him made it tough to say good-bye.

Ryan chuckled while shaking his head and said, "Sweet dreams." He loved seeing his men happy at home. Many had gone on to marry and start families. Sometimes it made him long for one of his own, but right now his company was his family and he put his all into building a solid reputation and a network of reliable assets and happy clients.

Ryan settled into his chair and desk near the cockpit and looked out the window as the plane took off. Ryan finally opened his bag to review their plan once on the ground in Azerbaijan. He planned on setting up surveillance on the clinic and poking around in the area where Mueller supposedly lived. They would need to split up and two of his men would rent a truck and unload their equipment. He and the translator would approach the clinic to ask the doctor questions. Ryan would plant listening devices while there.

Underneath the maps and satellite images of the medical clinic and nearby areas was a file on Rebecca Laconte Steele as well as Nathan Mueller. Out of tiredness and the need for a change of pace from studying the terrain and roads, Ryan picked up the first file on the stack, it was labeled "Rebecca Laconte Steele". He opened up the file and a familiar face starred back at him. The first page of the file showed a blown up copy of Rebecca Laconte Steele's Hawaii Driver's License. Right there on 8.5 by 11 Xerox paper was Annie Walker's face looking straight at him.

~By this time, Lieutenant Miller picked up Annie at her home and has read her in while driving her to the University where she had two classes that morning.

Ryan's shoulders tensed, his jawline tightened and he clenched his teeth. He was starring at photos of Annie Walker. The next page was another full 8.5 by 11 copy of her University of Hawaii I.D. badge. Ryan's wheels were spinning and he flipped through the rest of the file and scanned the pages listing ops Annie provided translations for. . . He replayed the conversation he had with the JSOC team and Joan Campbell. Judging from the expiration date of the driver's license, he figured she had been living in Hawaii since she ditched him in Venezuela. All this time, she was across the country and an ocean away. . . what the fuck Walker? When he woke up to the phone call, it was like the past called him. AND NOW THIS. Dozens of thoughts came to him. . . he wasn't a man who liked to be blindsided.

Ryan ran his fingers through his hair and clamped down his jaw on his molars, he picked up his sat phone and called his old buddy, Lt. Miller.

~Miller received the call while he's with Annie, filling her in on the mission.

"Listen to me, consider Steele a flight risk and I can't afford that," said Ryan.

"Excuse me Commander?"

"She and I go back and she's not to be trusted, do not let her leave your sight, you got that?" blasted Ryan.

"Whoa, relax, I'm starring at her right now and what are you talking about?"

"I know her and she is skilled at escape and evasion," said Ryan.

"You're saying she's some sort of criminal?"

Ryan's rational side wanted to take over, Annie wasn't a criminal. Was it crime to leave your lover without a trace? No, no crime was committed, but it was a shitty thing to do and he's never forgiven her for it.

"Just know that the woman you know, isn't who she says she is," said Ryan.

"I've known her about a year and a half and she's about to teach two classes, I don't think she's going anywhere," said Miller.

"How did she react when you read her in on the mission?"

There was a pause.

"Well ,she said she couldn't do it because she isn't trained for this and to find someone else, then she received a phone call," said Miller.

"Just make sure she stays there until I am on the ground, she's skilled, don't take anything she says at face value and don't underestimate her!" ordered Ryan.

Next Ryan called another friend from his Navy SEAL days who was on his payroll through his FLINT group. His friend Luiz Gonzalez happened to live on Oahu. An avalanche of emotions tumbled down, but his mind was still sharp and he needed to keep Annie Walker from running. He also wanted an advantage and asked Gonzalez to gather as much information on Rebeccal Laconte Steele as he could in the short time before Ryan's plane would hit the runway in Honolulu.

"I want eyes and ears on her until I am face to face. Get to her home and her workplace. I'll be on the ground in less than six hours and I want to know where she is when I land," said Ryan to his friend.

"Who is she?"

"Someone who can't be trusted, she was a fucking spook for Langley and probably still is," said Ryan.

"If you can put a tap on her phones and a tracker on her car."

"You got it," said Luiz.

"And," Ryan hesistated.

"Find out if she's close to anyone on that island."

"What do you mean? Contacts? Cut-outs?"

He didn't want to answer, "Yeah, anyone she's close to."

/

Phone Call to Joan Campbell

"Hello Ryan," said Joan expecting an angry Ryan on the other end.

"Rebecca LaConte Steele, name ring a bell?" Ryan spat harshly.

Joan exhaled loudly and before she could get in a word, Ryan continued, fueled by anger, resentment and the crushing disappointment in knowing people he trusted lied to him.

"And guess what, she's married to a man who looks like Jorge Garcia, except he's Thomas Steele," said Ryan angrily. "Two years ago I asked for honesty and all I got were fucking lies," spat Ryan.

"Did Langley have anything to do with her disappearing?" Ryan asked, not that it mattered. It appeared that she made her choice and it wasn't him. It was her work and he didn't get it, he never said she had to leave her job. Of course he dogged on the CIA and joked about how it was better working for him, but he never had any expectations of her to stop working for Langley.

Ryan thought that would be the only answer where he could possibly make sense of why she left. Betrayal was something he experienced before with people he trusted with his company and his life. . . When he realized that Caitlyn Cook, Allan Langer, and Borz Altan all lied to him for Belenko, he was angrier than he had ever been his entire life. Being angry at the enemy when it was group of jihadists or a dictator was different than the primal anger and raw pain he felt knowing that people close to him sought to destroy him. The knot in the stomach knowing that Annie Walker resurfaced was hard to categorize.

"You've moved on, have you not? Laura is a lovely person," said Joan stirring him out of his thoughts.

"You people don't care about the consequences of your lies do you? Damn it! You didn't answer my question!"

"She wasn't under any orders from Langley. Ryan, you've been happy the last couple of months. Keep that in mind." Joan's practical and sisterly advice meant nothing to Ryan in that moment.

"Yeah, I have moved on, but now _I need her_ for this op, and I'm on my way her place. I'm guessing you've warned her and she won't be there," said Ryan sarcastically.

"Can you put your past aside and focus on the mission at hand?"

"That ship has sailed, I don't give two fucks about the past, I just need to know I can trust her to do a job and Annie Walker has no credibility in my book."

"She's the best translator for this job as everyone has astutely pointed out. You know how dedicated she is to her job," said Joan trying to calm Ryan down.

"Yeah, I know, her work is all she cares about," said Ryan. She was dedicated to her job, the Annie Walker he knew put her work above all else.

Joan sighed, "I just spoke to her."

Ryan was silent on the other end. He was still an entire ocean away from Hawaii. "What did you tell her? Does she know it's me coming to pick her up?"

"She does."

"Damn it Joan, you've given her time to disappear," shouted Ryan as sweat dotted his back and forehead.

"I told her it was Mueller and that got her attention, she's not going anywhere but to Azerbaijan with you, she wants to get to the bottom of it and she's requested all the intel we have, she's in, so don't worry. Put aside your feelings," ordered Joan.

"Feelings? I don't feel anything," said Ryan hanging up.

As soon as the phone slammed down, Ryan swept the stack of files on his desk off the table along with a mug startling Dex from his slumber.

"What the hell?" asked Dex as he picked up the papers strewn all over the aisle of the plane. Recognition hit him as he looked at the papers he picked up.

"Holy Shit," said Dex when he picked up a paper with a copy of a driver's license and University ID badge. He understood why Ryan flew off the handle.


	12. Chapter 12

Note: I do not own these characters, they are the property of CA Writers/USA. THANK YOU for reading, I'm glad there are still readers out there who also ship Ryan and Annie, but I'm taking a departure from my normal story lines here and hope you all still like it and stay with me. And for Auggie fans, he makes an appearance in this chapter. I do love Auggie too! Walker is lucky to have these men in her life. Please review.

 **Chapter 12**

/

Annie went on "auto-pilot" for her first class. Her mind raced from the material she had planned to cover for the lecture to Mueller to Auggie to McQuaid to her career's highs and lows at the CIA and lastly to Ben Mercer. Ben had surprisingly come through for her. She only planned on using him to collect the cash she needed, but they developed a mutual trust, respect and concern for each other over the last couple of years. Only on paper were they husband and wife. They set up a trust where all their funds were held. It took a lot of trust on each other's part to co-mingle their life's fortunes.

When Ben was able to, he was around for her medical appointments and played the dutiful husband. There were moments the last couple of months when she felt something bubble in her for him, but she always put those feelings aside because she knew it would be a colossal mistake, their past track record wasn't good. He always wound up hurting her and ironically disappearing on her her like she did to McQuaid. In her early months on the island, still guilt ridden over ditching Ryan, he was the one she thought of constantly and played what ifs in her mind about. It took her a long time to get over giving up her chance to be McQuaid.

When she started having feelings for Ben recently, she chalked it up to being lonely. . . Ben flew in and out of her life and her job as a professor and contract translator for Pacific Command gave her some sense of purpose, but she was essentially alone and kept to herself. Each time she let herself imagine more with Ben, she concluded they were much better as friends than lovers. Besides, he was still quite the flirt and obnoxious towards the many female tourists he shamelessly led on whenever he was back in town.

Still, it was hard to shake the anxiety she felt recently because she hadn't heard from Ben in a couple of weeks. When he was away, it was usually a long stretch. Sometimes he would only be gone for a week or two, but most of the time he was gone for months at a time. No matter how long he was gone, Ben and Annie usually checked in using various protocols they set up. Ostensibly, it was to see if there were any issues with the cottage rentals or short-term renters. Together the Steele Family Trust owned a total of four vacation cottages on five acres of ocean front property. They had room to build more in the future. But truthfully he set up the communication protocols to check up on her health and she came to look forward to hearing his voice and knowing he was alive.

Even though they were strictly platonic friends, Ben's presence in her life brought her a sense of peace and security. She didn't appreciate that she did the same for him. Knowing she needed him at their "home" in Hawaii helped him get through some rough situations. For many years Ben Mercer lived for no one and a reckless aura defined him, but after he and Annie made a pact to help each other, he became a different operative. The change in him had pros and cons. . . sometimes being more cautious isn't what a spy needs to be. . . a spy needs to take risks and leave caution to the wind.

During the break between her lectures, Annie reviewed the files and intel regarding Nathan Mueller. She hadn't thought of Mueller in ages. After narrowly escaping death in Azerbaijan Annie had too much going on with being sentenced to desk duty after Joan and Calder found out about her condition. When she realized it, she only momentarily felt awful about not figuring out sooner that Mueller was the target and a victim of Aleksandre Belenko's convoluted quest for revenge against those responsible for his younger brother's death. Had she figured out all the pieces sooner, the outcome could have been different that day.

Annie asked the essential questions, why did Nathan resurface after all this time? The CIA thought he was dead, he was free to adopt a new life. The only two people alive who could shed some light on Nathan Mueller were Auggie Anderson and James Decker. Annie wanted to find out more details on the kind of guy Mueller was before he became Farouk Tabrizi, her hunger for intel came back. She used to study her targets and learned everything about them. She wanted information on his childhood, his family, his dreams and figure out what made him vulnerable to Belenko's manipulations. This is how she used to find just the right bit of information to use for turning assets. She was always great at honing in on that piece of information that would gain trust.

Annie left her lecture hall and went to her small closet like office as a junior faculty member. She opened her file cabinet and retrieved one of many burner cells she had hidden. Annie used her burner cell to call her old friend Auggie.

Her spycraft was rusty, she didn't notice Luiz Gonzalez watching her as she left her lecture hall for her office in between her classes.

Auggie was surprised to hear from Annie. She went off the grid as she had done before and though a worried McQuaid came knocking on his door a long time ago, Auggie wasn't worried. Judging from where McQuaid had traced Annie to, he concluded that Annie collected some of Teo's money and would not resurface for a long time. The last time he spoke to Annie she was in Argentina and he was back at Langley, he understood when the time came to sever ties with Langley, he had gotten there too. It took nearly getting murdered by Langer and deep conversations with his old buddy James Decker for him to realize that he needed to get out on his own terms and not give up his chance at happiness with Tash. He figured Annie realized the same thing.

"This job is like riding a bike for you," joked Auggie when Annie filled in him on why she called him. "You're not the first one to call me about this, I'll tell you what I told McQuaid," said Auggie.

"You spoke to him?"

"Yeah, you haven't?"

"I'm not sure he knows I'm involved yet," said Annie.

"That's going to be an awkward reunion," quipped Auggie.

"Any more awkward than ours after I returned?"

"Nah, you have a way Walker. He'll be fine, besides, he's in a serious relationship."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, we did the whole small talk thing."

"Ok tell me what you know about Mueller. I want to know what's not in his service records and personnel files."

Auggie proceeded to tell him what he told McQuaid. "Tony told me his marriage was unraveling."

"Why?"

"We don't have great stats when it comes to marriage, most end in divorce for guys in Special Forces. . . his long absences and tough missions strained his marriage. When he was home his erratic behavior didn't help things."

"You think he had PTSD?"

"Likely."

"His wife was a saint, she tried to help him, but you can't help someone who doesn't want it. Tony said eventually she left him. Nathan became increasingly erratic, he questioned his life and his choices, the people he killed haunted him in dreams, he blamed the military for ruining his marriage. I heard they were trying to have a family, but they struggled with that since Nathan was rarely home and he balked at getting checked out for infertility. His wife never filed for divorce, she seemed pretty broken up at his funeral and blamed herself for his death. She wished she had done more to help him. Said he was once a tender and loving man who loved serving in the Army. He just lost his way."

"He seemed pretty dogmatic when we met," said Annie, "but I saw a part of him that softened when I mentioned you."

"Can you get me in contact with Decker?"

"I wish, I have no idea where he is, he took off, wanted nothing to do with Langley and was still slightly pissed that I brought him back, I tried to contact him a few times using our old protocols, but nothing," said Auggie.

"Okay, thanks, Auggie. . ." there was a pause.

"I would help out, but if I left Tash now she'd kill me. She's ready to pop anyday now."

"What?"

"Expecting a little girl next month," said Auggie.

"Congratulations Auggie!"

"I hope you can meet her one day."

"Me too Auggie. Say hello to Tash for me," said Annie.

"Call me, I can talk to Nathan for you."

"Do me a favor will ya?"

"Name it,"

"Do you have footage from his funeral?"

"I think Tash recorded some of it and I can ask around."

"Great, can you send it to me?"

"You'll get it by the end of today."

"Thanks Auggie," said Annie.

"It was good hearing from you Walker."

"Good-bye," said Annie.

/

Next Annie called Miller.

"I'm near your office, we can talk in person rather than on an open line."

"What are you still doing on campus? I thought you were working on my cover," Annie was surprised that he was still hanging around.

"Oh, I had some business to take care of here," said Miller as he turned a corner and knocked on Annie's office door and opened it before she invited him in.

Miller noted that there was another phone on her desk that she dumped some file folders on top of. It was Annie's burner that she just used to speak to Auggie.

"I've gone over some of the intel and understand that we're heading to an urgent care clinic where the target has received treatment."

"Yes, ma'am, that's correct."

"Can you get your hands on a generous supply of suture kits, various broad spectrum antibiotics, any children's vaccines and all the Tylenol and Advil you think the plane can hold," said Annie with authority.

"What for? We're not a charity over here, we're just pretending to be. . ." said Miller with a laugh, he was a goofball at heart.

"Bartering information, good will, trust me Miller, these items will get us credibility over there," replied Annie.

"You seem to know what you're talking about," said Miller narrowing his eyes. She seemed entirely too skilled to be what she appeared. His old C.O. McQuaid was right. . .he never picked up on it because all she was ever asked to do was provide translations and she did nothing more and never offered any opinions.

"I'm just trying to be prepared," said Annie.

"Can you make it happen?"

"I'll get on it Ma'am," said Miller.

"Then go, I need to go a couple of things before my next class," said Annie grabbing her files from her desk along with her burner.

Miller followed her out after noting that the phone was no longer on her desk.

"I'll pick you up outside your lecture hall in two hours," said Miller.

"Not necessary Lieutenant, I'll make my way home on my own," said Annie as she noticed the janitor sweeping the hall. He was there earlier. Does it take that long to sweep the hall? And it's the start of the day, usually they worked after the last classes. The hairs on the back of her neck stood and goose bumps developed on her arms. It took a little time, but it was like riding a bike as Auggie pointed out. She realized she was being watched.

"I'm under orders to escort you ma'am, you're needed for this mission," said Miller. And that's when Annie realized Ryan knew.

"Orders?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Miller.

She didn't need any explanation. "All right, I'll see you after my last class," said Annie as she walked away.

Annie always used the university's computer lab to send messages to Ben. She stopped by the lab when she left Miller. She felt eyes on her back and simply kept going. Annie let Ben know that she needed to go away to help out an old friend and would not be back for four or five days in case he tried to make contact.

/

On the plane. . . Ryan headed over to the bar on his lush private jet. He wasn't a man who overindulged and rarely got drunk, but this occasion called for a stiff drink. Dex cleaned up and organized the files as Ryan poured a long shot of whiskey and downed it as he thought about Annie and their past.

Joan was right, he had moved on, Laura was a lovely person like she said. He found stability and someone he could count on. He knew everything there was to know about Laura, she was the antithesis of Annie Walker. Then why was he so riled up and bothered. . .

"Get us a helo once we land, if we drive it will probably take us over an hour to get to Steele's home from the airstrip."

"Why don't we just have her meet us at the airtrip?" asked Dex.

"I want to see her in her element," is what Ryan thought, but he didn't say it. He wanted to see where she lived with her husband the man she left him for. What her life was like the past two years. . .he couldn't contain the part of him that was curious.

Damn that Annie Walker, thought Ryan.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Gonzalez overheard Annie's exchange with Miller. After realizing she would not be home for another couple of hours at least, he made his next move to check out her home, but not until she was safely back in her lecture hall. He wanted to first take a look inside her office. He dumped the janitor's uniform and changed his clothing to blend in with the many students on campus. He grabbed his backpack and waited until Annie's next class began before he expertly picked the lock for her office.

Once inside the door labeled "Rebecca Steele, Lecturer", Luiz used his skills and experience to think like someone on the run, someone trained by the CIA. His eyes hones in on her locked file cabinet. Luiz took out his lock pick set and put it to use again. He poked around and found a Glock 26 and another phone taped to the inside of the cabinet. Along the baseboards of her office he found a loose board and located a stash of euros and dollars. It wasn't much, approximately twenty grand, but enough to make an initial run. He placed a listening device on her desk and cloned her burner phone before leaving everything else undisturbed. Luiz continued to look for papers, a passport or new IDs, but didn't find any.

Next, Luiz headed to Annie's home in a more remote part of the island to poke around. When he drove up the long private driveway in his unmarked white van, he noted the security cameras on the property. They were concealed, a typical civilian would not even notice them, but he could see cameras and motion sensors that he expertly avoided. Her windows and doors were heavy duty. Though it didn't look like one, the home was clearly a fortress. Luiz parked his car and walked around the property with a package, pretending to have a delivery. The home had a high end wireless security system, he could not disarm without cutting her Wifi which would leave evidence that someone had been there. He peeked into the windows to observe what he could so the trip wouldn't be a complete waste.

Luiz called Ryan as he left Annie's property gave him a full report of what he found in Laconte's office. Ryan's eyebrow raised when he heard she had a concealed weapon and cash in her office. Always prepared and ready to run, he wasn't surprised. As for the report on her home, Luiz told Ryan there were no signs of anyone else living with Rebecca Steele from what he could see.

"Sorry, I couldn't get in there," said Luiz.

"What did you find out about her otherwise?"

"Her presence on social media is pretty non-existent. There are no photos of her on the university website. Her students email her at a university email address. There's nothing suspicious at that address. She had two credit cards in her name and it looks like her mail goes to a P.O. Box. There are few incoming phone calls to her landline that stand out. Most of them are from a man she employs as a property manager."

"How long has she been married?"

"According to the papers file at a court in Florida, she's been married for about five years."

"Five years?"

Could Annie have been married when he met her? Thought McQuaid as his cheeks grew warm and beads of sweat formed on his brow.

"What did you find out about who she has contact with?"

"Not many calls to her personal cell phone, some from the same property manager, a few from an unlisted number in D.C. earlier today, I haven't tailed her long enough to know her other habits."

"What do you now about her husband?"

"He has an import/export business. There's a store in Honolulu linked to his name. From the website they sell mostly home furnishings. I haven't gone there yet, but they have an enormous trust, their assets are worth more than 10 million, but they don't live like it."

"What do you mean?"

"The homes, cars, they aren't extravagant and she's not like those housewives of Honolulu sporting huge diamonds and designer clothing," said Gonzalez. "I didn't even see a ring on her," he continued.

"So where is the husband?"

"Still working on that, you called me less than three hours ago man," said Luiz.

Ryan thought about what he was doing. It was a complete waste of resources and time.

"Okay, thanks, you know what, you can stop. I'm sorry I wasted your time, I'll have my office wire you payment for work you've done," said Ryan coming to his senses. He was going to see her in the flesh soon enough.

/

Ryan's plane landed in Honolulu, when he opened the hatch and walked into the hanger he saw a pallet of boxes and Lieutenant Miller."

"What's all this he asked as he read the labels?"

"Ms. Steele asked for it Sir," responded Miller

"I thought you were supposed to be with her. Where is she?"

"I had one of my men drive her back home, she seemed suspicious. I also had to be here to procure you a helo and manage the supplies Steele asked for."

"What did she ask for?"

"Here's an inventory for the manifest."

Ryan looked it over, eyes narrowing. It was a list of medical supplies, antibiotics, painkillers and vaccines. It appeared she had done her homework and it was just like her to be prepared.

"Ms. Steele said these supplies may persuade those running the show to provide you with info you needed."

"Fine, load the plane," Ryan said to Dex, Fitz and Jim. After you guys prep the papers and take care of refueling, you can go get some R and R while I pick up Walker. Be back here and ready to move out in four hours.

To Ryan, the extra cargo weight would slow them down, but it appeared that Walker was thinking about the mission and that was a good sign. . . A sign that he didn't have to worry about her running or manipulating her way out of this mission.

/

When Annie finished up her second class, she walked back to her office and the lingering smell of cologne hit her. She suspected Ryan knew and was looking into what she was up to, but still ever vigilant, she tossed the burner phone in her cabinet and changed the hiding place of her gun.

Her driver waited for her as she looked up and down the hall for anyone who might be watching her as the young ensign reached out for her brief case.

Annie sighed, she supposed it was better to go with the flow, so allowed the young man to take her bags and followed him to the car. She knew Ryan must know by now that Rebecca LaConte Steele was an alias for her. She had been formulating what she would say to him when they came face to face.

During the drive back to her home, she checked her phone and saw the alerts that someone had been on her property. She had a suspicion that Ryan was involved. Her wrist buzzed and she took out her pill box and water bottle to take her medications. She also saw that some large attachments came through to her phone from an unknown email address. Auggie came through for her in a short amount of time. She made a mental note to thank him and Tash with a baby gift.

Annie viewed the video clips and from all the remarks, tributes and memories shared by his loved ones at his memorial, Nathan Mueller was a true hero. A man who expected nothing in return for his sacrifices. His love for his country and American ideals of freedom and individual rights began at an early age. His wife, their divorce never finalized, barely got through her remarks at the funeral. One of Annie's unique skills was her ability to pinpoint what she could use to turn a potential asset. She studied the clips and formulated her approach.

/

Annie arrived home and changed out of her professional looking work clothes into a sun dress and flip flops. She called the property manager she and Ben employed to let him know that she would be away for a few days and to keep an eye out for her. Her stomach growled, signaling to her that she had skipped lunch so Annie headed to her kitchen and had a yogurt and banana. There was a nervous energy about her, she felt unsettled.

After spending a few minutes in deep thought, she tossed her trash and emptied it in the large bin outside. Then she refilled the pill box labeled Sunday-Saturday that she carried with her everywhere. She opened her night stand and tossed the five bottles of pills into a clear travel toiletry bag. That's when she hesitated for a moment and said out loud, "What are you doing Walker? You can't go into that mountainous terrain. . . the air is thin and you are not allowed to do anything strenuous."

That's when Annie heard the helo closing in, she knew it was McQuaid. It reminded her of the last time they were in a helo together. . .those images burst into her head.

Annie went outside and stood on her lanai watching Ryan run out of the helo in a ducked position with his eyes squinting. He looked nearly the same except a few pounds thinner.

Ryan took in Annie's silhouette and blonde hair blowing in the aftermath of the propellers. . . her arms were crossed and he had to admit he was still attracted to her after all this time.

When he came within a yard of her on the steps of her lanai, his jaw tightened, as he looked her straight in the eye. He spent the latter half of the flight over thinking of what he would say when he saw her and in that moment he was at a loss for words.

"Hi. Come in," said Annie as she opened her door and went inside.

Ryan followed her, "So then you're ready to go," he barked loudly without greeting her.

"Not yet, I just got home and it's not like I can just pick up and leave, I had some things to take care of," said Annie.

Ryan wondered what she needed to take care of.

"Get yourself packed, you're going to be the translator for an op I have and after that you'll never hear from me again."

"I haven't been in the field for . . . " Annie started.

Ryan cut her off before she could finish.

"So I've been told, I'm not taking no for an answer."

"It's not out of choice, I've been. . ."

"I'll pay you 50 grand, not bad for three day's work and should help keep up with your lifestyle here," said Ryan cutting her off as he looked around.

"I'm happy to provide real time translation, but. . ." Annie had second thoughts about trekking to Azerbaijan with Ryan and his crew. She was only allowed to swim, walk and do yoga.

"I'll double the pay, you're not getting out of this, I need someone on the ground with me," said Ryan gruffly.

"I don't need the money Ryan, please just let's just clear the air. Let me explain myself before we. . . " said Annie apologetically.

Ryan turned away towards the door. He paused very briefly, part of him wanted to hear her out, but he was too hurt and distrusting of her to do so.

"I don't blame you for hating me, if you just give me a chance to talk, you'll see that I never meant to hurt you. It's just that everything between us happened so fast and I. . . " started Annie.

He threw a file of what he had on Mueller down. "I'm not interested in hearing your damned explanations, Mrs. Steele," retorted Ryan sarcastically. "I know now that you were married already when I proposed to you."

Annie looked stunned. Then she remembered the doctored wedding certificate. . . she and Ben needed to be married to have her added to his insurance.

Ryan continued as a stunned Annie looked at him, taken aback.

"I just want to get Tabrizi and finish this. You have ten minutes to get your shit together."

Annie felt horrible, she was finally confronted with the consequences of her actions and it wasn't easy to see how much hurt and pain she caused someone else. She stopped trying to talk to him as she could see he wasn't interested in explanations.

Ryan heard Annie's watch buzzing. He didn't know what the buzzing signaled, but he turned around and saw Annie press a button to stop the vibrating alarm.

"Um, can you please go up into the crawl space and bring down the black leather duffle? It's on top of some boxes," said Annie shakily as she headed to her bedroom.

/

When she walked off down the hallway to her room, Ryan yanked down the hatch from the ceiling of the hallway and unfolded the attached ladder leading to Annie's attic crawlspace. Once up there, he saw neatly stacked boxes and then the black leather bag Annie asked him to retrieve. He walked along the boards that covered the rafters and stopped when he heard what he thought were muffled cries above the room Annie disappeared into. For a brief moment, he felt bad for treating her with such disdain.

Before he descended back into the hallway, he looked through the bag's contents and took out a tracking device and placed it inside the bag.

/

Meanwhile, once inside her room, Annie had closed the door and leaned against it as tears came streaming down. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," said Annie as she began sobbing. She screwed up in a major way and now she had to deal with the ramifications of her choices, it wasn't going to be easy to work with Ryan over the next couple of days.

Annie opened her closet door and grabbed a few essentials. Then she went to her drawers for underwear and tank tops.

Ryan knocked roughly. When she opened the door, he tossed her bag on her bed and tried to appear as if he wasn't looking around her bedroom.

"You won't be needing all of these, I'll just have Miller hold on to them for safe keeping while you're gone," said Ryan holding up a half dozen passports and currencies from various countries.

"That's my property, you had no right to open my go bag," said Annie puzzled, her face growing red and her heart racing. "No matter what you think of me, it's not okay for you to. . .," Annie started.

"I can't risk this mission, I'm not giving you the room to go running off," said Ryan cutting her off again.

"I'm not going to run off, I give you my word," said Annie.

"Your word doesn't mean very much to me," said Ryan leaving her room.

/

Ryan entered the living room/dining area, running fingers through his head and wiping the sweat from his brow. "What are you doing McQuaid? This isn't you, this isn't how you treat people, even people like Walker," he thought to himself. He took a deep breath as he looked around. Luiz was right, there were no signs of another person living in the small and quaint cottage. No wedding photos, no men's shoes near the entrance and even in the bedroom, there were no signs of anything belonging to a man. "Oh, why do you even care?" he asked himself before snapping out of it.

Annie emerged from the room. She walked past Ryan and retrieved a pair of hiking shoes and her binoculars from the entry closet. She also went to her console table and took another Baby Glock out of the top drawer. She proceeded to check all the windows and the back door before setting a timer for the entry light. She went to her kitchen and tossed some granola bars and dried fruit into her messenger bag where she shoved the file Ryan gave her.

"I'm ready," said Annie as she set the alarm on her small home.

Ryan nodded and then walked into the helicopter. Not a word was spoken between the two the entire ride back to the airstrip in Honolulu.


	14. Chapter 14

Note: I don't own these characters. They belong to CA/USA. Thank you for your kind comments. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 14

During the 15 minute ride to the hangar, Annie looked out the window and took in the beauty of the island she called her home the last two years. She wondered what Ryan was thinking, he could barely look at her. It was going to be an uncomfortable couple of days, but she hoped he would eventually come around and hear her out.

Ryan led the way from the copter to his private plane, not even offering to hold her bags. He purposely kept a furious pace. She looked mostly the same, her blond hair was maybe even blonder with the sun she must be taking in on the island. It was longer than he remembered. He wondered about her husband, where was this man she was married to? There was no sign of him yet they shared a large Trust and property. Ryan pushed those thoughts aside as he looked at his watch, he had a call with Langley to discuss the mission.

The plane was full of activity as Jim, Dex, and Fitz readied the plane for the long journey ahead of them. They had stocked the plane with food and were conducting safety checks when Annie entered the plane and silence took over for a few strained seconds. She knew them to be fiercely loyal to their friend and boss, she didn't expect a welcome wagon. Annie smiled nervously and said, "Hi."

There was a pause as the men looked over to Ryan who maintained a poker face. Dex broke the ice and went up to Annie to hug her. He said, "Great to see you Walker."

Jim and Fitz followed with greetings and they made small talk.

"If you're all done, let's discuss the approach before we take off, Joan Campbell is expecting our call," said Ryan from the sidelines.

Ryan led the conference call and Annie hung back observing. There was a gruffness to him, the softness she knew was missing. He was a tough guy's guy on the outside, but she always saw a gentle part of him. The way he used to look at her and look out for her is what made her fall for him years ago. She also noticed that his men were less jovial and talkative than usual, also reading his mood.

"The plan is simple, we get eyes and ears on the clinic. Walker and I will. . ."

Annie cleared her throat, "We shouldn't be seen together given the last time we were in Azerbaijan, they don't get many outsiders from in that area and we don't want to be conspicuous…for all we know Mueller could be monitoring the clinic," said Annie.

"No, you and I go in together, you're a translator and. . . " said Ryan firmly.

"I read my cover," said Annie. She thought about disagreeing more strongly, but she could see he was adamant and she didn't want to make huge waves from the start.

"You'll keep the doctor busy while I place some surveillance devices around the clinic, here's a rough map of the clinic based on what Hasad gave us," said Ryan unfolding the sketch Hasad sent him.

Ryan looked at her and continued with authority, "First chance we get we bag Mueller. Next stop a black site in Virginia," said Ryan. He was always about efficiency.

Annie cleared her throat, about to say something, but stopped herself.

"Here is the area where our intel says he has been living," said Ryan pointing to a grid on a map of a heavily wooded area.

"We'll simultaneously explore that area and pick up all his electronics," said Ryan.

Annie had an odd feeling. The way McQuaid was talking made it sound so easy. She didn't think it was going to be that easy. Nothing in this business was ever straightforward.

"Let me remind you, the main objective is to preserve whatever intelligence he has and to bring him back here without incident McQuaid, don't make waves, get in and out," said Joan.

"Trust me, I don't want to spend more time than I need to on that piece of shit," said Ryan.

Annie saw her opening and took it. She cleared her throat and started, "Ever since I learned that Mueller resurfaced I've been going over and over the details of that day and trying to recall every aspect of our exchange with Nathan."

"Oh so now we're on a first name basis with him?" Ryan asked sarcastically.

"Let her finish," said Joan who know Annie, she was a fantastic operative because of her ability to connect the dots and pinpoint what was relevant.

"There's something I can't figure out. Mueller was surprised when I brought up Chicago, Ryan you were there, the look he gave me, it wasn't one of pride or satisfaction," said Annie.

The plane was quiet, everyone thinking about her assessment. Annie kept going, "Remember all the guys Belenko went after were his buddies. He had to have investigated what really happened after he recovered enough. Charlie, Tony, then him. He probably knows about Auggie and James and the attempt on their lives too. He must have known something was amiss after our encounter with him."

"Encounter is putting it mildly. If that's what you think you're delusional Walker. May I remind you he had a knife to your throat and he was going to kill you," barked Ryan loudly. "He had no problem dogging on this country that I know you love. You say you remember what he said well I do too, he was part of rendering punishment on his own team, he was in it with Belenko."

"How are you so sure? My gut says he realized he was played by Belenko and now he's trying to make amends. We need to approach him with an open mind," said Annie.

 _"_ _Make amends?," thought Ryan_. He can't make up for what he did, was that why she agreed to come? Was she trying to make amends he thought to himself.

 _At the same time Annie was thinking, "Is there no way I can make things right?"_

"We fucking torched his base of operations, judging from Hasad's intel, he's pretty badly disfigured. I don't think he's feeling very warm and fuzzy towards Langley or the military right now, a guy like him doesn't want to make fucking _amends_ ," said Ryan.

Joan piped in, "Walker's right, something doesn't add up here. He was home free. We gave him a hero's burial, why come out of hiding now?"

"I don't ask why traitors and terrorist do what they do. I just want to fucking stop them in their tracks," said Ryan just like a soldier, trained and built to follow orders.

"When we find him, let me talk to him before you bag him," pleaded Walker. "Give me five minutes, that's all I ask."

"Ryan? Is that something you can agree to?" asked Joan.

He nodded and ended the call. "All right, we're done here," said Ryan.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Ryan shook his head. "May I take a closer look at this?" she asked pointing to the clinic layout and map of the area Mueller was supposedly camped out.

He nodded. "Remember you're here to translate, that's all I need you for."

Everyone readied the plane for take off while Annie settled into a spot away from everyone else.

/

Shortly after take-off Annie's watch vibrated signaling it was time for her next dose of medication. She undid her seat belt and headed to the galley for a glass of water.

Dex entered the small kitchen behind her and asked, "You need any help?"

Annie shook her head as she smiled. "Just wanted to grab some water."

"Sparkling or flat? Ice or no ice?"

"Flat is fine and I can get it myself, been on this plane before," said Annie.

"So how have you been?"

"Good, good. We had a second kid since we last saw you."

"Mazel Tov! A boy or girl?"

"A girl. Sarah Anne."

"Beautiful name. Well, I hope she doesn't give you any trouble down the road."

Dex smiled, "All the boys will know her dad's a former SEAL and her God Father is Ryan McQuaid so I reckon trouble won't come looking for her."

"Well, you better hope she doesn't go looking for trouble," said Annie.

"So you're married now, settled down. . ."

Annie exhaled deeply. She supposed she'd have to answer some questions and it was only natural for the guys to be curious.

"Yes and no," replied Annie as she shut off the second vibrating notification on her watch.

"What does that mean? You either said I do or you didn't."

"It's complicated, we aren't married in the traditional sense."

"Oh, I heard the guy was your ex. It's really none of my business."

"Wait is that what he thinks?"

"Yeah, that you were married when you were involved with him and never mentioned it."

"Huh," she said as she leaned against the counter of the galley. "I guess that's why he's so pissed off."

"He and I go back to when I was young and dumb,"

"I don't think it's possible that you were ever dumb Walker," said Dex.

"I hooked u with a complete stranger I met at a beach bar thousands of miles from home. Believed everything he said about the things we'd do together before he left me with a bar tab and a broken heart, how's that for dumb?" chuckled Annie.

The memory of the hurt and pain Ben left in his wake helped her to understand Ryan. She spent two years angry and bent on never getting hurt again, so she really couldn't blame Ryan for being so angry with her.

"He's the dumb smuck for leaving you and even though the boss is cross with you now, he'll come around. You weren't right for each other, he's happy and we all don't want to see him hurt again," said Dex.

"I understand what you're saying, I never meant to hurt him. I was trying to spare him from heartache and I suppose I went about it all wrong," said Annie regretfully.

"Yeah, he felt used and no man likes to be ditched that way."

"I tried to explain myself, but he doesn't want to hear it," said Annie.

"He'll come around, He can be hotheaded, but I've never seen him angry for more than a couple of days. He's a big softy inside you know," said Dex.

"Thanks," said Annie as she walked back to her seat with a bottle of water.

Ryan was sitting on the opposite side of the galley where he heard everything.

Annie sat down and pulled out her pill box. She took her meds and reset her watch. Her heart was heavy with guilt.


	15. Chapter 15

Note: Sorry it has been a bit since updating. I've been traveling and dealing with computer issues. . . I hope you enjoy this chapter. THANKS for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it!

In flight to Azerbaijan

Annie poured over the schematic of the clinic and map of the surrounding areas as well as the area where Mueller set up camp. She studied her cover until she knew it without hesitation. Then she spent a couple of hours reviewing her Azeri and Turkish. By the time they landed in Japan for refueling exhaustion found her, but she wanted to deplane to stretch her legs. As she headed towards the plane's exit with the other men she walked right into Ryan.

"Where do you think you're going?" He demanded gruffly.

Though she was taken aback for a moment, she spoke with composure and confidence.

"Just stretching my legs, I want to buy some green tea, I didn't see any in the galley, shame to be in Japan and not have any," said Annie.

"Fat chance you're leaving this plane," said Ryan remembering how she used him for a ride and disappeared.

Annie sighed. "You have my passports, I'm sorry about what I did, it was wrong of me and but at some point you need to move past. . ."

Ryan cut her off, "I'd be a fool for not learning from the past, you're not leaving this plane." He turned around signifying the end of the discussion.

Frustrated, Annie was too tired to push it. Getting off the plane to stretch her legs for a bit wasn't worth standing her ground at this point. She would save her voice and the fight she had for something more important. She paced the length of the plane a few times, checked her messages and then retreated back to her area of the plane where the mental and emotional exhaustion took over.

When she felt a tap on her shoulder, Annie's eyes fluttered before she remembered she was on Ryan's plane. "We're taking off ma'am. Time to buckle up," said Fitz.

"Thanks," said Annie rubbing her eyes and yawning before her eyes fixated on something.

On the table next to her she saw a pot and a tea cup. Fitz saw where her gaze led and explained, "The boss asked us to find you some green tea, it's what we picked up in the terminal. Jim also bought some Japanese whiskey. Apparently it's all the rage these days, if you want some, by the way, your watch here has been vibrating," said Fitz. Annie forgot she took it off earlier.

That man, he was a puzzle to her. . .despite his obvious disdain for her, he managed to surprise her with his thoughtfulness. "Thank you for the tea," said Annie with a smile.

"I'll tell Ryan for you. And are you done with these, the boss asked for them back," said Fitz pointing to the maps Annie had been studying.

"Yes, take them," said Annie still stunned by Ryan's gesture. It was the first kind one he had towards her.

/

Ryan overhead some of her conversations with the guys and although most of him wanted to ream her and keep a tight leash on her, part of him remembered the time they last spent together flying from Buenos Aires to Caracas. Annie Walker was and still is a mystery to him. She seemed genuinely sorry about leaving him, but he didn't wasn't ready to forgive or trust her.

"Could he trust her without forgiving her?" he asked himself. Did she even need his forgiveness? Was he all busted up over something she didn't give two hoots about?

When she first left him he was consumed with worry for her, convinced she left on some dangerous assignment or realized she was in some kind of danger. That was the only reason she would leave based on her track record. He remembered their conversation at the villa. She hinted at the things that haunted her. His concern and worry for her eventually turned into anger and resentment when his intel led him to believe she ran off with someone else.

"Get yourself together McQuaid," he said. "You head needs to be in the game." He put aside thoughts of Annie and went back to studying the files and answering his emails.

When the group arrived in Azerbaijan they assumed their covers as members of an NGO providing medical supplies to areas of need. They checked into a local hotel where the men occupied and suite and Annie had an adjoining room. Ryan was weary about allowing her to be on her own, but he also remembered he had placed tracking devices on her belongings and that gave him some peace of mind.

/

The next morning Annie and Ryan arrived at the clinic where they meet Dr. Ferid. As Annie and Ryan entered the clinic they took in the surroundings as if their brains were cameras. Annie noted the children's wing to the left of the entrance. They introduced themselves as Ms. Grenville and Mr. Stern.

"Thank you, what a surprise, we did not expect all this," said the doctor in Azeri, slightly weary. "It's very generous of your organization to provide us with all these vaccines and medicines."

Annie responded saying there are no strings, all the medications and supplies are simply surplus and donations from companies.

"We have nothing to provide in return," said Dr. Ferid.

Ryan was looking around the doctor's office and trying to get eyes on the photo Hasad mentioned. As he did so, Annie continued on with her conversation asking Dr. Ferid what his most pressing needs were. The doctor mentioned he had a patient with a heart ailment who needed medications beyond the baby aspirin they stocked.

On the wall behind the doctor's desk was a panoramic photograph of a forest and mountain. "Tell him that's a lovely photograph," said Ryan to Annie as he stood up moving closer to the photograph and getting a view from behind the desk. Annie began to translate when the doctor said, "Thank you," in English.

"Oh you speak English?" said Annie.

"Yes, I was educated in Maryland, Baltimore to be exact," said the doctor.

"Well it's jolly good of you to be here then when you could have stayed away," said Ryan in his English accent while he scanned the doctor's desk. He made eye contact with Walker who was still seated in front of the doctor's desk. Ryan's eyes went to the frame. It was indeed the doctor with someone he believed to be Mueller except he was scarred badly.

"This country is where I'm from, where most of my family still lives. They all wanted me to stay in America, but why? So I could live comfortably and treat people who don't appreciate what they have? I'm more needed and useful here."

"That's just wonderful Dr. Ferid. We hope all these vaccines and everyday medicines will come in handy."

"Indeed they will, but sometimes I need specific items."

"Like what? I'll see what I can do," said Ryan.

"I have a young patient, a gifted young man with heart trouble, there is no way he can get proper treatment here, his family left him with me and have not returned. But there are medicines that could alleviate his symptoms and give him a better quality of life."

"Are you talking about ACE inhibitors, anti-arrhythmic, vasodilators, anti-coagulants, and beta blockers?"

"Yes, yes, those are not as easy to come by at a low cost here, he has only been getting aspirin and diuretics," said Dr. Ferid.

"May I meet this young man?" asked Annie while looking at Ryan. "Perhaps Mr. Stern can call to see about getting some of those medications."

"I'm sorry, what were they again?" asked Ryan.

"May I?" asked Annie reaching for a piece of paper and a pen from Dr. Ferid's desk.

He nodded.

Annie wrote the medicine names down and handed him the paper, while giving him a knowing look.

"Let's meet this young man you call gifted," said Annie flashing her winning smile.

"Of course, this way," said the doctor.

"I'll stay back and make a couple of calls to see about those medications," said Ryan.

While Annie was gone, Ryan worked quickly and stealthily to install a listening device and camera in the doctor's office. He simultaneously made calls to see about the medications.

/

Annie was genuinely interested in the children in the clinic. A couple were in for pneumonia. She stopped at each bed to pass out the chocolates and mints from her purse. When they reached the bed of the boy with heart trouble Annie could see sketches hung on the wall and taped to the ceiling above his bed. He drew beautifully detailed scenes of the forests and people's faces. She saw one of the doctor and a woman and two older boys and a young girl among the drawings.

"These are lovely," Annie said as she noted his pale complexion and labored breathing.

"Frank, meet Ms. Grenville, she works for an organization that has graciously donated some medications to our clinic."

"Nice to meet you and thank you," said the boy.

"Tell me about your sketches," asked Annie.

She listened to him speak of all his sketches with pride, but he didn't speak of the people other than Dr. Ferid. Annie pressed him.

"What about these?"

The young boy, no more than 11 or 12 looked forlorn. "I drew them so I would not forget their faces, they are my family. My mother and my brothers and sister," said the boy ask a small tear escaped his eye.

"They left me here because I am a burden to them," said Frank. Annie wondered why she didn't see a sketch of his father.

"Well they left you in the wonderful care of Dr. Ferid, I am sure they care very much for you," said Annie taking some mints and chocolate out of her bag for the little boy.

"I hope to grow up and makes lots of money so I can give it to them to show them that I can work and do my share to help."

"Maybe you can sell your art," said Annie with a smile. "Would you draw a sketch of me? I'll pay for it," said Annie.

Frank's face lit up. "Really?" he asked in Azeri.

"Really!" said Annie.

She sat while he sketched her profile and Annie made small talk.

"How long have you been here?"

"Nearly six months," said Frank.

Dr. Ferid went to another bed to check on another patient while Annie made conversation.

"Wow, you must see everything out this window."

"I do, I get my inspiration from the birds, the patterns of the clouds, and the trees as they change."

"Im sure you've seen a lot of people to sketch as well."

Frank nodded.

"Has there been anyone you've wanted to sketch?"

"Oh yes, but I am too scared to ask."

"Why is that?"

"There is a man who comes and his face is different, he was burned I think, but it has bumps and scars that would be interesting to sketch and his eyes. . . they are a bit like yours."

"What do you mean?"

"Eyes that look sad like mine when I look at my family," said Frank.

"When's the next time this man will come?" asked Annie.

"Later tonight, he comes once a week around 2100, maybe that's why I brought him up, I've been working up the courage to ask him if I can feel his face and sketch him, some of the other fear him, but I don't," said Frank.

"Well I think you're brave to face your condition and I think you should ask him when he comes," said Annie.

"Maybe I will," said Frank turning around the paper so Annie could see it. "It's amazing, you did all that as we talked?"

Frank nodded.

Annie took out her wallet and handed him five twenty dollar bills. "This is all I have on me now."

Frank's eyes grew large and he called out, "Dr. Ferid!"

The doctor ran over, "What is it?"

"Will this be able to buy me a new heart?"

His innocence caused Annie's eyes to tear up. Dr. Ferid shook his head shattering the boy's hope.

She asked for permission to give him a hug. She rolled up the sketch and took it with her as the doctor led her out of the children's ward and back to his office.

/

"Oh my, he's a special kid for sure," said Annie.

"He is, but I can't really treat him like I would want to," said the doctor.

When they returned to the office, Ryan was still on the phone, but appeared to be down setting up surveillance.

"I understand, I understand," they heard Ryan say.

Annie asked the first question, "What did they say about the medicines?"

"They said it's against protocol, we only provide vaccines, antibiotics and basic painkillers and supplies, it's too specific and expensive," said Ryan.

"Thank you for trying, I appreciate what you both have done, you've lifted his spirits and I have not seen that in weeks," said Dr. Ferid looking at Annie.

Annie opened up her bag, "I have some of what you need here," she said handing him her bag of medications.

"What? How did you?"

"It's magic," said Annie with a smile.

The doctor examined the bottles, "The only one you don't have there is a beta-blocker, I try to use yoga and meditation for that," said Annie.

"These have your name on them, you have some serious valve issues?" asked the doctor.

"It's all under control," said Annie while she nodded.

"But you need these," said Dr. Ferid.

"I can always get more and will as soon as I get home, but Frank, he needs these more, please take them," said Annie.

"What caused this if you don't mind my asking," said Dr. Ferid.

"I was ill and didn't take care of myself, I just kept on working, pressing on and the virus I had attacked my heart," said Annie.

"You had myocarditis," stated the doctor.

Annie nodded.

"And yet you are still working and traveling to help those in need. You my dear woman are the hero here," said Dr. Ferid.

Ryan was a bystander, shocked as he listened to the exchange and made his conclusions.

"That's kind of you to say," said Annie. "I will talk to our superiors and see if we can eventually expand our repertoire of medications, I promise you that, young Frank need a chance to share his talent with the world," said Annie smiling.

"Thank you, thank you," said the doctor walking the pair out.

"I'll be in touch," said Ryan, aka Mr. Stern.


	16. Chapter 16

NOTE: Thank you for reading and it makes me happy folks are enjoying this fanfic. This was a heavy scene to write. I hope you enjoy it. . . These are not my characters, they belong to CA/USA writers.

As soon as they left the clinic, Ryan put his hand behind her back to guide her to the waiting truck. It was the first time he made any physical contact with Annie. His hand remained on her back until they reached their vehicle where he opened the door for her and waited for her to settle into her seat before closing the door. His shift in attitude and action, a direct result of what he learned moments before inside the clinic. A dozen questions went through his head. . .but mostly he began to feel remorse for how he had been treating her. He took his time walking around the car to other side, feeling like a boy who knew he was wrong and had to face the person he had wronged.

Through her jacket Annie felt something from his touch, it was familiar, she wondered where they would be had she stayed with him. Would they still be together or would she have messed it up at some point? Were her rekindled feelings for Ben stronger than the ones she had for Ryan? She loved Ryan last though she loved Ben first. Annie felt such confusion and pushed it all aside, instead focusing on what she learned while inside the clinic. She formulated her plan and wondered how best to broach the topic with Ryan and the other guys. She rightfully anticipated resistance.

Ryan rounded the back of the car where he took a moment to exhale before reaching the other side and opening the door to climb into the sleek Range Rover. He took a few more moments once seated as Fitz started the car. They drove a distance before he finally broke the silence.

Ryan rubbed his hand through his head of hair and exhaled before saying, "Annie," and pausing. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say, he was at a loss for words.

She turned from the window she stared out of since they left the clinic, their eyes met and held each other's gaze for longer than they both knew what to do with. . . She interpreted his look as pity and spoke up, "Don't feel sorry for me."

"Are you going to be okay until we get your meds replaced?"

She nodded, not surprised at his sudden concern, he was always compassionate and caring towards her. But she never wanted that from him or anyone. She wasn't always like that, but in recent years her fierce independence and need to prove herself emerged, it was the armor she needed to wear. Ryan felt frustrated that she turned back towards the scene outside the window, her way of ending his probing.

He touched her hand and wrapped his over hers which rested on her thigh, he gave it a squeeze and said softly, "Come on, don't bullshit me Annie, all of those pills you had. . ."

The sound of vibrating punctuated the silence he met.

Annie lifted her hand from under Ryan's in order to pull back her left sleeve. She pressed a button on her watch to stop the alarm, then reached for her water bottle and took a pill case out of the inside pocket of her jacket, shaking it so Ryan could see. "I have a enough here, so don't waste your time worrying about me." She proceeded to open three compartments taking out a pill from each and popping them in her mouth as Ryan watched and replayed their last days together. Were there signs he missed as they pursued Aleksandre Belenko?

Ryan was relieved that she had what she needed, but he planned on getting a supply as soon as he got back to their hotel, he still had the slip of paper where she wrote down all the medications and he repeated them in his head. He planned on looking them up as soon as he could.

She took a lot more medications than the injector she had when they were last together. "Your myocarditis worsened since I last saw you?" It was a statement more than a question. It was obvious to him now, he had been told she didn't go into the field and now he understood why.

"I said, don't worry about me, I'll be fine," said Annie, hating the look he was giving her.

"Damn it Annie, why didn't you tell me?"

He was met with silence that fueled his curiosity along with his frustration.

"You knew when we were together back in Argentina, didn't you and that wasn't the only thing you kept from me back then," he said accusingly. His impatience towards her returned.

Annie sighed. "Ever since you walked through my door in Hawaii all you wanted to do was bark orders at me, let me remind you that _you_ _weren't in a listening mood!_ You never gave me a chance to speak or explain, suddenly that's changed just because you feel sorry for me?"

Ryan knew she was right. He wanted to change their interactions from that point on. His tone softened as he swallowed and said, "I'm not the bad guy here, don't make me out to be, I didn't keep the fact that I was married from you. . . you on the other hand failed to mention your husband. I just want to know the state of your health because despite what's happened or what never happened between us, I still care for you," said Ryan.

Annie didn't want him to see the tears welling up after his last remark. He deserved the truth and what did it matter now if he knew. It was all out in the open already. So she spoke, all the while looking out the window as she revisited the past for his benefit.

"I blacked out when we were running from the Vega force," she stopped and let out a chuckle before continuing. "Belenko saved my life, he could have left me out there exposed, instead he carried me into that family's home where you found us. I was so confused and out of it when I regained consciousness, but when I realized what happened, I was scared. Nothing I had been through scared me as much as realizing that I couldn't keep doing what I loved because of my condition. The last time I was vulnerable like that you were there and you saved me. I'd been lucky each time I had an episode, but I knew I wasn't getting any better, I realized I was getting worse. For about five minutes, I couldn't even stand up without feeling like I was going to collapse again."

Annie stopped to wipe away her tears and clear her throat. Ryan could see the toll that realization took on her. He could plainly see recounting what happened wasn't easy.

"I wish you told me," he said softly.

"For a brief moment, I was going to, but what difference would it have made, the Vega guys were still in hot pursuit and we had to bring Belenko in, I just had to get through it. You knowing would have changed your behavior and you would have wanted to toss him over to the Russians, I wasn't going to let that happen, so I soldiered on and thank God we survived and Belenko went into custody."

"And that would have been a good time to tell me," said Ryan.

"I tried to on the bridge, but you were being your charming self and I chickened out I guess, for a small amount of time, I was hopeful, I was feeling better, less out of breath and my heart rate wasn't erratic," said Annie wistfully.

"What changed?"

"When we went back to the safe house to pack up, you stayed down to organize the car. I couldn't walk up the stairs without feeling like my lungs and legs were giving out. Somehow my legs were like lead and I almost couldn't catch my breath, I injected myself in time, so I didn't pass out, but I knew then that I needed surgery and that my heart needed to be my top priority, you didn't deserve to be burdened with that, with me," said Annie. "You told me about your wife and how watching her die was harder than having the Vega force after you or being low on ammo and pinned down by insurgents in Afghanistan. I wasn't going to put you through watching me deteriorate," said Annie.

"So you figured leaving, making me worry, search for you, and ultimately spend the last couple of years being angry with you was the better alternative?" asked an exacerbated Ryan as he ran his hands through his head. "What about this husband of yours?"

"He's not really my husband in the traditional sense. He owed me and I used him to get some money. We're married so I can be his dependent for medical insurance."

"You're a piece of work Annie Walker, you know you had no right to save me from you, I didn't need the saving, you did and I would have been there every step of the way Annie. We could have had something real, not a sham like you're living."

"That's why I left, don't you see, you're the ultimate gentleman, I know you would have been there for me and gone above and beyond, but I didn't want you do that, I didn't want you to be obligated or dredge up the pain and sorrow from losing your wife, I didn't. . . "

"You didn't feel you deserved that kind of love and devotion," said Ryan finishing her sentence. More tears streamed down her face and try as she did to hide them, he saw. He saw through her and for the first time he understood the workings of her mind and heart. She wanted to save everyone around her, but never allowed herself to accept help or love unconditionally.

"Stop the car," demanded Annie. "You're right, I'm the bad guy, I lied and left you without an explanation, I used you to get away. You have every right to hate me, but you don't get to feel sorry for me. I'm here to do a job, let's stick to the job like you asked."

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked taking off his seat belt so he could go after her. "Stay there, just need my space," said Annie putting her hand up to motion him to stop. Ryan hit a nerve. She got out of the vehicle as soon as it came to a stop and asked Dex who sat up front to swap places with her.

"Uh, ma'am, I'm, uh. . ." said Dex.

"You don't have to say anything just please switch spots with me," said Annie. He looked at his boss who gave a slight nod.

From the back, Ryan couldn't let go, he leaned forward and said, "Why the heck did you give up all your meds? I don' t know how long it will take to replace what you need."

"It bought us the trust we needed didn't it? Now the doctor feels he owes us and that's a good position for us to be in," replied Annie, always mission minded.

"It was fucking reckless, you put yourself in a compromising position," said Ryan who felt frustrated and angry.

"Sacrifice is the business. I've learned that over and over again, you can't do this work and not sacrifice. You wanted and needed me here, and I'm here, you don't get to tell me how to operate," said Annie without emotion before turning around and slumping down. She folded her arms and closed her eyes.

"It's just like you to shut down and shut the people who care about you out." Annie didn't respond. And Ryan stopped trying, worried that she was trying to sleep because she was not feeling well.

The rest of the ride back to their hotel was silent with Ryan brooding in the back and the guys feeling awkward for having witnessed the two former lovers rehashing their break-up.


	17. Chapter 17

**Note: I've been moving slowly. Sorry for the delays. Enjoy this short installment.**

 **Chapter 17**

All told it was about thirty minutes back to the city center from the clinic. Annie felt every bump in the road. Her mind and body were both spent, unaccustomed to the emotional stress of seeing Ryan, the jet lag and high altitude of Azerbaijan. Yet sleep did not come at first. Her focus alternated between replaying Ryan's words and formulating plans for her next steps towards contact with Mueller. The tension at her temples took over and she closed her eyes. She had a dull headache that started when they were back at the clinic, it was familiar and had nothing to do with her heart condition. It always took a couple of days for her to adjust to high altitude and knew she needed to hydrate, but she drank the last of her water with her pills and wasn't about to break the silence to ask if the guys had any water in the car. It was hard to believe after all this time that she was just inches away from Ryan who brooded in the back. She mentally shook her head at the situation.

When Fitz put the car in park in front of their hotel, Annie opened her eyes, she must have slept after all. Annie's car door opened and she stood up feeling a bit light headed. She steadied herself using the car door and it didn't go unnoticed by Ryan.

Ryan reached for her bag with one hand and grabbed her elbow with the other. It surprised her at first and then it unnerved her. "I can walk on my own," she said firmly.

"Let's see what our connection to the clinic is like up in the room," said Dex to Ryan and Annie, in an attempt to get them both back on track.

"I'll be there in a bit to review what you recorded since we left the clinic," said Annie as they stood there outside the hotel.

He wanted to ask what she needed, but decided against it. Ryan on his part spent the rest of the car ride replaying everything Annie did and said to him since they left Argentina. Everything sank in slowly. She said she tried to tell him back in Argentina, but what she said about not wanting him to watch her get sicker, it was a gut punch. All this time he was resentful and jealous, but she did what she did for him as much as he was still angry with her for the way she left him, he mostly began to feel horrible after she moved to the front seat. Her words about sacrifice rang in his ears.

Ryan snapped out of it.

"Take care of the equipment and set us up. I have some calls to make," said Ryan to his men who were unpacking the vehicle. Then he looked for Annie who was already past the lobby.

Quick on his feet, Ryan caught up with Annie and stuck his hand in between the elevator doors to force them back open. It was awkward, Annie thinking, why couldn't he wait for the next elevator.

"I'll get you on the next commercial flight back home. We can look for a local translator. . . "

Annie stood there mouth agape for a few seconds before cutting him off, "You're unbelievable. I'm not leaving, you patronizing son of a bitch!" Her heart pounded inside her chest, her face heated, her anger palpable.

The elevator door opened and they both exited, but Ryan blocked her way, "Come on Annie, you're obviously not in any shape to work."

That man was seriously causing her blood pressure to sky rocket she thought to herself. "You have no idea what shape I'm in," she said as she shoved him to into the wall surprising him with her strength.

Ryan caught up to her as she fumbled with her key, her hands shaking. "If your health deteriorates, I wouldn't forgive myself for hauling you out here." Annie managed to get her door open.

"You think I'm here because of you?" She shook her head as she stood inches below his face and saw the look of concern in his eyes.

"This, you see, this is why I couldn't be with you, please stop looking at me like that. I don't need your pity or worry," said Annie before trying to close the door. He put his foot in the way and was stronger than her this time as he anticipated her move to close the door in his face.

"Annie, come on," said Ryan.

"I'm here to get to the bottom of things with Mueller, I'll leave after I speak to him," pleaded Annie as her wristwatch vibrated again.

"What's that? You just took your meds in the car," stated Ryan.

"I'll join you all in ten minutes."

She put her hand on his chest and gave him a slight push to back him out into the hallway and closed the door.

Ryan had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, but he walked away and headed to the suite.

/

Annie went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face and undid her bun. Releasing her hair undid some of the tension she felt in her head. She took two Advils and downed a bottle of water she retrieved from the small hotel fridge. She went into her medicine case for her daily dose of her beta blocker, which was supposed to be taken with a meal. She grabbed a handful of nuts and ate them while checking her messages.

No word from Ben. She felt disappointed and worried as she sat on her bed. He was on her mind before all this business with Mueller, he kept her grounded her in the days after she left Ryan. Theirs was a simple relationship of trips to Home Depot and the farmer's markets when he was in town, but she had come to look forward to seeing him and had planned on talking to him when he returned because the last time he was around, he came home drunk and said things. Things she couldn't stop thinking about as she lay down with her legs dangling off the edge of the bed. She could fall asleep right there, but she willed her upper body upright. Her work wasn't done.

Next, Annie called Joan.

/

"Annie, you all right?" Joan raising her eyebrow. She could hear that Annie sounded tired.

"Fine, confronting the past and mistakes made, never easy," said Annie.

"I'm familiar with that," said Joan.

Annie filled her in on what she learned at the clinic and her plans to get to Mueller without Ryan's interference.

"Annie, I know you hate to be reminded, but you're not in shape to go traipsing through the mountainside," said Joan.

"Ryan would sacrifice any intel we could get out of Mueller, just to get him and be done. If you really want to know what Nathan is up to, my plan is the way to go, this will take more finesse than Ryan is capable of," said Annie.

Joan was quiet on the other end, knowing Annie was right, but not wanting to give her too much encouragement to go off script.

"Come on Joan, now that he knows about my health, he's even more motivated to finish and get out," said Annie.

"You're certain of the boy's information."

"He's a kid who loves his art, I think he's been waiting for his chance and shared that excitement with me, so I'm comfortable with what he told me," said Annie.

That was enough for Joan, Annie's gut was always spot on. "You have the equipment you need?"

"No, but I'll get it," said Annie.

"Ryan's calling," said Joan.

"No matter what, don't tell him what we discussed," said Annie.

"I'll give you the time and leverage, but you need to contact me once you have Mueller in your sights," ordered Joan.

"Will do," said Annie.


	18. Chapter 18

**Note: Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Happy Holidays. I'll try to load a Last Bag chapter soon too. Let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 18**

After hanging up with Joan, Annie felt better already, her headache dulled by the Advil and her spirit reinvigorated by Joan's green light, she tasted once again the energy being "active" again gave her. It was a forced choice to get out and focus on her health, she was backed into it, but she became accustomed to her quiet life as a teacher. She mused about how adaptable human beings can be. At home in Hawaii, she didn't miss this, but now while in the thick of it, she experienced the natural high it gave her. There was no denying she was made to do this type of work.

Jim was left camped out on the one road leading to the clinic. Annie knew that and he would be one of her obstacles in getting to the clinic undetected. First, she needed to leave the hotel and make it back to Dr. Ferid's location unseen. Annie looked at her watch, she had a couple of hours. She began to formulate her plan in the car on the way back from the clinic. A small smile emerged from her lips. . . Sometimes her condition could come in handy and she would use it to her advantage.

No time to ponder more, game on, she thought to herself. She reapplied her make up and put her hair up again. For one last time, she checked to messages from Ben before leaving her hotel room.

When she entered the suite all eyes turned to her briefly in acknowledgement.

"Ma'am, you're back," said Dex.

She saw Ryan on the phone. Their eyes met before she went over to the screens where Fitz and Dex monitored the surveillance monitors and were in touch with Jim.

Annie nodded, "Anything stand out?"

"Not so far, but there's tape of everything that's happened since right after we left, you can view it from this station, the doc took some calls and made one," said Dex leading her to a spot the men had set up for her.

"We ordered some food, a lot of food actually, hope you're hungry," said Fitz.

"I'm starving, thanks," said Annie with a smile.

"Better save some of that for me, all I have are protein bars and a couple of MREs," said Jim who was on comms with the group.

"You lost the rock, paper, scissors man," said Fitz.

"I'll make sure they save some for you," said Annie.

"Thanks, I'm going offline, some walkers coming down the road."

"Stay in touch," said Fitz.

"Look Annie, I can tell he feels horrible," said Dex without a pause. His point had nothing to do with the mission. Annie was surprised, but not. These guys were his friends, Ryan wasn't just a boss to them.

"His feelings and actions shouldn't change because he found out about my health," stated Annie.

"He's a good person," said Dex.

"I don't doubt that, I never said he wasn't. I liked it better when he was pissed at me," said Annie with a slight smile.

"What did you like?" asked Ryan as he approached them.

Annie shook her head and said, "Nothing," ending their interaction before it began.

Ryan half wanted to scrap the mission, but he made a promise to his old contact and he owed it to many people to get to the bottom of Nathan Mueller's resurfacing. He paced the suite, torn about how to proceed. Annie was hell bent on staying, she always needed to prove herself.

/

Annie went to work reviewing the taped conversations as the men monitored what was happening in real time. She saw no indications of anything unusual or of a conversation between Dr. Ferid and Nathan Mueller or anything out of the ordinary, but she had crafted a scenario based on phone calls none of the men would understand, something to draw McQuaid's attention and manpower away from the clinic. She needed to get back to Ferid's with enough lead time to wait for Nathan.

"I've reviewed all the feed since we left. Hamid made a call to another branch of the clinic nearby saying he had some extra meds to share. He will be personally delivering them this evening. Might be good to have eyes there too. Sounded like the doc was asked to confer with the doctor there on some patients at his clinic. It could be just what it is, but might be worth checking out," said Annie.

"Could be a coded message about a meet or he could be changing locations," said Fitz.

"Or it could be just as it appears to be," said Dex.

"We leave nothing to chance," said McQuaid. Annie sat back, satisfied, she still had skills and she knew how to use them to manipulate the situation.

"I want to stake out the other clinic, it will be good to get out." said Annie getting up. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"Absolutely not," said Ryan with a look of disbelief.

"I'll just be watching and reporting. I'm here because I speak the language remember?"

"Dex, you're on watch at this other clinic, do you have the exact location?" asked Ryan.

"Walker can assist from here," said Ryan.

"I have the locaton."

"You need my help, he doesn't speak any of the local languages."

"His broken Arabic and Farsi will have to pass, you're here if needed," said Ryan.

Annie rolled her eyes. "It's Turkish and some Russian he really needs. I want to go with him," said Annie.

"No and that's the end of it," said Ryan firmly.

"Like I told you earlier, I'm here to get to the bottom of what Mueller is planning."

"You've done your part already, you've done more than necessary Annie. Let my men take care of the rest."

Ryan's phone rang. "Excuse me," he said to a visibly frustrated Annie.

/

Annie stayed and ate with the guys as they continued to monitor what was going on at the clinic, but shortly after finishing her delicious kebobs and rice, Annie began to yawn. Her watch vibrated, but she silenced it without taking her meds. Ryan was still on the line taking care of his responsibilities as CEO of McQuaid Securities. She noticed him looking up and felt his eyes on her from time to time. Ryan overheard Annie say she was turning in.

As soon as he was off the phone he paced the suite he shared with his men and their equipment.

"What did Annie say before she left?"

"She looked spent boss, she didn't say anything, I told her to turn in for the night and that we'd wake her if needed," said Fitz.

"She seemed okay though?"

Fitz shrugged.

"Did she seem unwell?"

"Look boss, you need to go talk to her yourself. I don't want to be in the middle of anything here," said Fitz patting Ryan on the back.

Ryan rubbed his beard and took a swig of Jim's bourbon before leaving for Annie's room.

/

A strong knock came at Annie's door and a satisfied smile came across her face. Maybe she didn't hear it right away, she had been blow drying her hair.

Annie had knew he'd be at her door. She planned on staying in her room for at least an hour believing that Ryan would check on her. She knew how to read Ryan, even after all this time, her interpersonal skills were still well honed.

Annie opened the door in her robe. Her hair still damp. Ryan was struck by her natural beauty and stood in the hallway starring at her. He could not deny his attraction to her, it wasn't just physical, there wasn't an explanation. She looked back intently at him. It was the same serious look, they gave each other back at his safe house all those years ago and nothing short of intense. "Um, I wasn't sure if you were okay, I knocked a few times and. . . uh, I was about to. . ."

She motioned for him to enter the room. "I probably didn't hear you right away, I had the blow dryer on," said Annie.

She turned and looked at him as she closed the door.

There was an awkeard silence.

"What is it? Fitz pick up something?"

Ryan shook his head.

They continued to look at each other. Annie held up one hand with palm facing the ceiling while untangling her hair with the other as if to say, "What then?"

He was inches from her in a heartbeat. Annie's heart rate rose too. She expected him to check on her after which she'd be free to leave the hotel, but she DID NOT expect what he did next. Ryan took her face in his hands and kissed her with everything he had. Completely caught off guard, she allowed herself to be kissed, he awakened reactions in her that had been buried so deep the last couple of years. She remembered what they had together, how much she did love him, but time had passed and she let go a while ago. After testing her initial feelings a few more seconds, she stopped him by backing away.

Slightly breathless she said, "Yesterday you made it clear that you hated me and now you're here for what exactly?"

Ryan rubbed his stubble and sighed. He surprised himself.

"I don't know, but I never hated you. I was hurt and angry for a long while and now, I don't know, I'm not anymore and I wanted you to know that, to believe that," said Ryan feeling guilty. Laura popped into his mind and he felt terrible.

"But this, coming here and trying to. . . I don't know what. . . this isn't you. You've had too much bourbon." She tasted it on him.

"I know and I'm sorry," said Ryan.

"I wasn't looking for an apology from you," said Annie sitting down a sofa.

"I guess I just needed closure and to get it all out. . . Annie, we could have been something," said Ryan sitting next to her.

Annie exhaled. "I know, in the beginning you were everywhere, not an hour would go by where I didn't think of you even though we didn't spend that much time together, it was intense and you need to believe that I loved you and cared for you deeply, but. . ." Annie grew a bit tearful thinking about it.

"I know, you didn't want to burden me, I wish you had and I know you tried to talk to me at the Villa," said Ryan.

"You would have charmed me out of my convictions," said Annie.

"I wish I had that chance," said Ryan putting his hand on hers and giving it a squeeze.

"But you're happy now, you have a girlfriend and I honestly hope you can move on."

"She's terrific, she really is, stable and what you see is what you get," said Ryan.

"She sounds great," said Annie hearing that there was no passion in his voice.

Ryan sighed. "I guess I came here because despite everything, there is a part of me that has all these feelings still for you, but. . ."

"I know, you were there for me and we experienced so much together, I wish things turned out differently, I really do," said Annie.

"We can keep talking about it, I can keep wishing things didn't turn out the way they did, but I guess . . . here we are. . ."

She shook her head, "I didn't want you to stay with me out of some sense of duty or obligation. Some part of me wanted you to hate me, I figured it would be easier on you that way. Easier to let me go. . ." said Annie.

"You're with him?" asked Ryan. There he said it. He wanted to get it all out in the open.

"Who Ben?"

Ryan nodded.

"Ben left me years ago with no explanation, just a note saying the truth is complicated. That's his track record, he flies in and out of Hawaii a couple of times a year and we fit nicely together-in a platonic way-for the short time before he goes off on another mission. . . I turned into him," laughed Annie.

"What?"

"I can't believe it, but I did," she said. "I'm sorry, really I am. I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did. My hypocrisy hasn't gone unnoticed, believe me," said Annie.

"So he doesn't know you still love him?"

Annie shook her head. "He's plenty busy with his work and he likes our arrangement, we're friends and that's good enough for me," said Annie.

"We're here together, right next to each other. . . in this moment, can you tell me if you would do anything differently?" asked Ryan.

Annie paused and thought for a good long while. "Honestly, I don't think so. At the time I believed I needed to get away, far away from D.C. to get better. You're a good and decent man Ryan but you needed to be in D.C. and I wasn't in a place to go back. When we met, I had gone back to D.C. after leaving for a long stretch, but I fell back into the same pattern and intensity that cost me my health. And the other part was I didn't want to be the source of your worry and disappointment. You had been through enough."

"But haven't you too? I mean haven't you been through enough too?" Ryan stated.

Annie yawned. "I guess I feel like I'm beyond rehabilitation," she said with a small laugh. "But being in Hawaii has really helped me except now that I'm back in the weeds, I'm again finding myself . . . "

"What"

Clinging, enjoying, loving the thrill and you know what, I need to take a step back before I fall to far again.

Ryan nodded understanding.

"You must be tired," said Ryan.

"Would you please stop worrying," said Annie knowing that look of concern that washed over his face.

"And would you stop jumping down my throat every time I show concern for you?"

"I guess it's hard for me to accept that someone cares,"

"Have you told him?"

"Huh?"

"Have you told this Thomas Steele that you care for him?"

"What?"

"Even if you don't believe it, I know you. You care for him and you owe it to yourself to tell him and yourself the truth."

"There's nothing to tell."

"We didn't make it, I accept that, but I do want you to be happy, I'll always care for you Walker," said Ryan.

"I'll see you in the morning," said Annie getting up. It was his cue.

Ryan left Annie's room. The weight he carried felt lighter.

As soon as he left, Annie dressed, grabbed her bag and left the hotel.


	19. Chapter 19

**Note: Please let me know your thoughts. I'm trying to close this one up soon.**

 **Chapter 19**

Ben made his way to Singapore after his deep cover op was finally over. He had been away a long time, long enough for him to grow homesick, once a rare emotion for Ben Mercer, but ever since Annie Walker came back into his life, he had a reason to go home. The downside was he found himself being more cautious, tempered in his decision making processes because his goal wasn't just get what he needed done at all costs, it was to get home to see Annie and soak in the balmy ocean breeze in Hawaii. The humidity in Singapore was thick and unbearable and he couldn't wait to make it home. This last mission he missed Annie more than ever and wanted to see her. After he checked his messages, he tried Annie several times before growing alarmed. What was she working on? He left her a message back asking her to signal him, but that was two hours ago. He picked up the phone to call Joan.

"You okay?" asked Joan when she picked up.

"I'm waiting on a flight back home," said Ben when Joan picked up. He launched right in. "I'm worried about Annie. She left me a message saying she was helping an old friend, that was a couple of days ago. Do you know anything?"

"I'm afraid I do."

"What's going on Joan?"

"Can you make a detour and head to Azerbaijan?"

"Annie is there? What the hell is she doing there?"

"We needed a translator on an op and she has history with the target as well as the man running the op, I'll have all the papers and cover you need sent over right away, just sit tight for a couple of hours, I'll call you to fill you in soon," said Joan.

"So she's in trouble?"

"Let's just say she's gone off reservation, we don't have her exact location."

Ben's stomach never lurched and it did.

"Where was she last?"

"A rural clinic, then we lost comms," said Annie.

"Get some rest, I'll have a member of Ryan McQuaid's team meet you at the airstrip," said Joan.

"Ryan McQuaid?"

"Intel from his asset, also known to Annie initiated this op, I'll brief you in an hour, for now I need to work on your credentials, talk soon," said Joan.

Ben was left with his own thoughts and emotions to wrestle with during the couple of hours he had to kill. He worried for Annie and the things left unsaid between them.

 **/**

Annie managed to get past Jim on the side of the road near the clinic. She parked a quarter mile away and approached on foot entering the clinic through the back door. "Ms. Grenville, what are you doing here at this hour?" asked Dr. Ferid looking around surprised to not also see the gentleman who was with her earlier.

"You're working late yourself Dr. Ferid," said Annie.

"What can I do for you?" asked the doctor.

"I came to check on Frank," said Annie. "I guess I felt a need to make sure he is okay since we have similar ailments."

"He's doing much better now, the medicines have made a difference in just a few short hours," said Dr. Ferid.

"I'm glad to hear that," said Annie.

"Come, let's see if he's still up," said Dr. Ferid.

"Do you normally stay at work this late?" asked Annie.

"Normally no, but I'm waiting for a patient," said Dr. Ferid.

"Oh?"

Dr. Ferid looked at his watch. He should be here any minute now if you excuse me. . . you can go on and visit with Frank but for just a few minutes. He needs his rest as do you.

 **/**

Annie visited with Frank where she has a view of the back entrance to the clinic and looks at all of his drawings and reads to him until he fell asleep. Ever vigilant, she sees a man arriving in an old jeep. When she first sees his face, she doesn't quite recognize him immediately, but judging from the man's build and height, she was certain the man entering the clinic was Nathan Mueller, formerly Farouk Tabrizi, now Zamir Tabagari.

Annie saw from Frank's window that Mueller's face and neck were deeply scarred and he walked with a limp. She could see why Frank was interested in sketching Nathan. Annie waited by Franks bed until Nathan entered the clinic and walked towards Dr. Ferid's office. She exited the clinic and climbed into the back of the jeep Nathan arrived in. She took out a phone and called Joan.

"Annie! Any new developments?"

"I'm in the middle of one, Nathan showed up at the clinic and I'm going to follow him," said Annie.

"Wait, what? You're at the clinic?"

"It was the only way I could speak to Nathan alone before Ryan and his crew get in the mix," said Annie.

"Ryan has the doctor's office under surveillance, you won't have that much time," said Joan.

"Except, I'm not there to translate for them, it will give me enough time to figure out what Nathan is up to and to convince him to come home on his own," said Annie.

/

Fitz picked up some talking from Dr. Ferid's office. He phoned Annie's room to get her back in there to translate. When there was no answer, he woke up his boss, Ryan McQuaid.

"You need to get Annie, Ferid has a visitor and we need her to translate, I called, but there's no answer," said Fitz.

"That's not like her, she's a light sleeper," said Ryan getting up and putting on his shirt.

In a few minutes Ryan returns, "She's gone, tap into those trackers I put in her bag and on her jacket," said Ryan.

Fitz shook his head, they're here, in her room I presume.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," said Ryan.

"You were right, she was a flight risk."

"I don't think that's it, I think she's gone after Mueller herself," said Ryan. "She doesn't have all her meds," said Ryan.

"She'll be fine, she always seems to be," said Fitz.

"Get Jim on the line," said Ryan.

"Listen to the voice, do you recognize it?"

"Only met Mueller once, it could be him, I can't be sure," said Ryan.

"Jim?"

"Yeah boss," said Jim.

"Any action over there?"

"None," said Jim.

"Are you sure because we're picking up voicing in Ferid's office and we think Annie's there too," said Fitz.

"Shit, I put a sensor on the back road and entrance, but it looks like it's out," said Jim.

"Get over there and see if you can identify the man in the office," said Ryan.

"And keep your eyes peeled for Walker, I think she's there," said Ryan.

/

Meanwhile, Nathan received his latest antibiotic supply and left the clinic.

As soon as he started his car, Annie emerged from the back seat.

"Hello Nathan," said Annie.

"Annie Walker, CIA," sneered Nathan.

"I'm longer with the CIA, I'm here as a friend, a friend of Auggie's and I'm here to offer you my help," said Annie.

"Help? And what makes you think I would need your help after our last meeting?" shouted Nathan.

"I owe this to you and the CIA!" he said pointing to his face.

"I'm not here to take you in Nathan or to do you any harm, but we need to work fast if you don't want to be followed," said Annie.

"Followed?" asked Nathan.

"I'm not here alone, we need to lose the men I'm here with so we can talk," said Annie.

"Oh, this is getting better, you expect me to just trust you blindly?"

"I'll explain later, drive around front," said Annie.

Once Nathan drove around, Annie shot out the front tire to Jim's car.

"That should give us a head start," said Annie.

"Head start to where?"

"Wherever it is that you've set up shop," said Annie.

"And why would I bring you there?"asked Nathan.

"I have something to show you and a message from Auggie," said Annie.

"The last time we met didn't go so well for me, so excuse me if I doubt that you're here to help me," said Nathan.

"I know, I'm sorry about that, no one is more sorry than I am. We were. . ."

"Wrong!" said Nathan loudly.

"Yes, we were wrong, only because a man named Aleksandre Belenko orchestrated it all and fed us bad intel," said Annie.

"That intel should have been vetted and then vetted again, the CIA fucked up and it wasn't the first time," Nathan said with intensity.

"We did, I admit it, we messed up and I'm here to make amends for that. We went by the intel we had at the time, but you need to acknowledge that you went rogue too and may I remind you that you held a knife to my carotid," said Annie.

"I'm deformed and an invalid, I think I've been punished enough for going off the grid and trying to actually help the people we set out to help!" said Nathan as he drove.

"I understand, I've lost things as a result of the job too and I've often wondered what the point of it all was, but I never set out to hurt fellow Americans," said Annie.

Nathan was quiet.

"What have you lost?" asked Nathan.

"Relationships, isn't that what life is all about at the end of the day? Our connections and the people we love and those who love us?"

Nathan kept driving and seemed to be thinking about what Annie said.

"Listen Nathan, I only have a small window before they catch up to us, I need to know what you're up to, the men I'm with have orders to bring you back, but my gut says you're working on something and we need to let you see it through," said Annie.

Nathan exhaled. "Who are the men?"

"You remember McQuaid?"

Nathan nodded.

"He had a contact here who reported seeing you at the clinic, so he read Joan Campbell in and was given the okay to bring you in, but I'm here thwarting their efforts on your behalf, so you gotta trust me," said Annie.

Nathan kept driving. He heard Annie's watch vibrating. "What's that?"

"Just a reminder that we don't have much time," said Annie.

"After I recovered, I remembered what you said about Charlie and I did some digging. I found out about Tony's overdose and Auggie's kidnapping. I know what he did to your friend McQuaid. I realized we were all pawns. I started looking into Belenko and his family."

"What did you find out about Belenko?"

"He amassed his wealth from bribes, blackmail and extortion. He has millions squirreled away and I'm going to get that money for Charlie's widow and Tony's family," said Nathan.

Annie's eyes narrowed. "That's what you've been up to? Now that's a plan I can get behind."

"Whatever you're planning, you're going to need support. I'm here to offer that to you."

"The CIA's help comes with strings and there's no way they'll let me on my merry way."

"That part of your past you're referring to doesn't exist. It's been wiped clean."

"Wiped clean?"

"You died a hero Nathan. There's a star on the wall at Langley for you," said Annie.

"I want it in writing that I'm free after this," said Nathan.

"I will call Joan," said Annie


	20. Chapter 20

/

 **Chapter 20**

"On speaker," said Nathan firmly as Annie dialed Joan using a satellite phone she had taken from McQuaid's equipment. Annie studied Nathan, part of her still unable to read him. Did she succeed in winning his trust?

"Where are you? McQuaid knows you're gone already," started Joan.

"I'll send my coordinates when Nathan and I are done, try to keep him on a leash," said Annie.

"Nathan and you? What has he sucked you into? Remember you were just given leeway to find out what he is up to," said Joan.

"Well, I found out and I'm going to help him, so please stall Ryan," said Annie.

"I'm not his favorite person, he might be able to track you down before that and this isn't a good idea, Nathan's loyalties are unknown," said Joan.

"I know what our friend Nathan has been up to and it's nothing nefarious," said Annie.

"He needs a guarantee from you that he won't be detained and taken back to the U.S."

"In exchange for what?" asked Joan.

Annie looked over at Nathan.

"In exchange for information to bring down Belenko's network, according to Nathan it's quite extensive," said Annie.

She could hear Joan breathing on the other end.

"You trust him?" asked Joan.

"Yes, I believe his motive is genuine and I'm still alive," said Annie looking into Nathan's eyes.

"Okay then, he has a deal, we won't bring him home, but I do want all his intel," said Joan.

"Can we have that in writing?" asked Annie.

"What is he going to do? Just disappear into the wilderness?" asked Joan.

"I didn't ask, but I think he's going to be all right after he does this, it's his way of clearing his conscience," said Annie.

"So where are you headed?" asked Joan.

"I know, we've got a good head start, but I'll tell you once we're there just to be safe," said Annie.

"I need a handle on where you are, Nathan may not want our help, but your safety is still my concern and Ryan said you gave up all your medication," said Joan.

"Where are you Annie?" demanded Joan.

"I'll make contact when I can," said Annie.

"I can't let you do that Annie, not in your condition," said Joan.

"It's too late Joan, this is the only way Nathan and I will have it," said Annie.

"We need to debrief him after, make sure he knows that," said Joan.

"I've kept copious notes, you won't need to debrief me," said Nathan surprising Joan.

Joan was thinking on the other end.

"Nathan, if anything happens to my operative, you will have to answer to me," said Joan.

"Tell Ryan, I'll meet up with him once I'm back in Azerbaijian," said Annie.

Joan let out a long exhale.

"Okay, I'll draw up the papers and have them sent to Ryan for you to sign Nathan," said Joan.

"Thanks Joan," said Annie.

"You take care of yourself Annie," said Joan.

/

So what was she talking about?" asked Nathan changing the subject.

"Huh?" asked Annie.

"She said you don't have your meds," said Nathan.

"I've lost things too Nathan, for the longest time all I wanted was to protect my job at all costs, it was all I had left and it gave me purpose. Hell, I was good at it. But sometimes it takes having things taken away for us to see what's really important," said Annie chuckling.

"Here, let's switch, pull over. I'll drive and you can look at the video footage Auggie sent of your funeral. A lot of people were there, you were loved Nathan and you're missed by many. That says something to me," said Annie.

Curious, Nathan slowed the car down and Annie got into the driver's seat.

"Where are we headed?"

"Follow the signs for Tbilisi," said Nathan. Annie drove towards the heart of Georgia, Tbilisi.

Nathan watched the video as his parents, his siblings and his wife spoke. Then about a dozen friends including Auggie and James Decker stood up to pay tribute to him. Annie watched tears stream down his scarred face.

"I never meant to hurt my friends and my wife especially. I was just so angry with the military," said Nathan, but even if I wanted to go back, who would have me looking like this?

"Your scars are on the outside, but mine are on the inside. . .we all have our baggage, but it's how we see ourselves that matters the most," said Annie.

Nathan nodded.

"So what's the plan?"

"Belenko had another brother who uses an alias, he's now a wealthy and powerful man in the city, an associate of Belenko's wired all of his assets to this brother before the U.S. had all his assets frozen."

"We didn't have another brother on the radar, where did you get this intel?"

"I have a friend who has been helping me with surveillance, someone less conspicuous than me," said Nathan.

"Who?"

"I have a safe house in town," said Nathan evading the question.

"So how are we going to bring down this brother?" asked Annie.

"We need to get into his bank accounts and wire his funds into a few off shore accounts we've opened," said Nathan.

"How are we going to get access to this brother?" asked Annie.

"That's where you will come in handy," said Nathan.

"If Belenko is involved, he knows me and could have told his brother and associates about me," said Annie.

"That's a risk we'll have to take," said Nathan.


End file.
